You're not a fool. Our xAPs are sociopaths who pry on women.
Your xAP sounds like my xAP too. My xAP promised me the moon, stars and sky. He said he'd never leave me, and that I brought joy to his life...blah blah blah. Then I discovered that he has a happy home life - the kind of home life that no one I know in RL has, example; him and his family DO things together. If you hate your wife then why would you do activities with her? They watch football every sunday together, they have family dinner together, they go shopping and to water parks. I mean this is a HAPPY family together...but he made it seem like he couldn't stand her. But, ACTIONS speak louder than words; so when he says he can't stand his wife but then he hangs out with her ALL the time...that translates into LOVE.
We all played the fool. There is this song, "Everyone plays the fool" or something like that.
Yeah..tell me about it...i think the BIGGEST struggle I am having right now is that i still blame xap for how I feel. I was so blindsided and i gave him soooo many opps to stay married if that what he wanted! I know that I am supposed to acknowledge MY part for this mess..and i totally do! I blame myself for so many things..but i am still so MAD! :( and I still feel so STUPID!! I cant HELP but think HE did this to me! And i know that is stunting my recovery..and i KNOW i allowed myself to fall in love with a MM. I want so bad to let go of this anger and blame..and just not CARE anymore!! :( Its been almost 6weeks NC and I STILL want to PUNCH him so hard in the face! Its probably just ego talking....but
I agree. It connotes the mind set of O.J. Simpson and THAT'S SCARY. He said the same words to his exGF just before he beat the crap out of her. She was lucky that the maniac is now serving time.
There is NOTHING flattering about a man saying these words. It shows possessivenss, control, and another aspect of, "It's all about me, me, me."
You're not a fool. Our xAPs are sociopaths who pry on women.
Your xAP sounds like my xAP too. My xAP promised me the moon, stars and sky. He said he'd never leave me, and that I brought joy to his life...blah blah blah. Then I discovered that he has a happy home life - the kind of home life that no one I know in RL has, example; him and his family DO things together. If you hate your wife then why would you do activities with her? They watch football every sunday together, they have family dinner together, they go shopping and to water parks. I mean this is a HAPPY family together...but he made it seem like he couldn't stand her. But, ACTIONS speak louder than words; so when he says he can't stand his wife but then he hangs out with her ALL the time...that translates into LOVE.
We all played the fool. There is this song, "Everyone plays the fool" or something like that.
NC since Dec. 9th 2009
No Contact = No N
Yeah..tell me about it...i think the BIGGEST struggle I am having right now is that i still blame xap for how I feel. I was so blindsided and i gave him soooo many opps to stay married if that what he wanted! I know that I am supposed to acknowledge MY part for this mess..and i totally do! I blame myself for so many things..but i am still so MAD! :( and I still feel so STUPID!! I cant HELP but think HE did this to me! And i know that is stunting my recovery..and i KNOW i allowed myself to fall in love with a MM. I want so bad to let go of this anger and blame..and just not CARE anymore!! :( Its been almost 6weeks NC and I STILL want to PUNCH him so hard in the face! Its probably just ego talking....but
Not sure where you read that you shouldn't blame your xAP?
NC since Dec. 9th 2009
No Contact = No N
I agree. It connotes the mind set of O.J. Simpson and THAT'S SCARY. He said the same words to his exGF just before he beat the crap out of her. She was lucky that the maniac is now serving time.
There is NOTHING flattering about a man saying these words. It shows possessivenss, control, and another aspect of, "It's all about me, me, me."
~ Iddy~
~Iddy~