Was here 4 years ago, EAS a godsend

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2008
Was here 4 years ago, EAS a godsend
6
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 3:26am

Hi ladies. 4 years ago around this time, I was ending an online A. We had met once and then it started going badly. I had found the links I posted as I can't remember all of it now, time has a way of doing that:). Mfreenow was the CL at the time and Iddy was a member. Messenger got me through the times too. Glad to see Iddy as CL, she is amazing.

Some had tough love and I am glad. I had only wished I had found this board sooner. They know every A is the same ole same ole. It was an addiction for me and a toxic one at that. Four years ago to today, A's are the same thing which is not a good place to be. Iddy, I hope you don't mind I posted links of what I went through. Maybe even a new poster can find something to help her with what she is going through. I look back to that time and all I can do is shake my head.

If the exAP contacts you, it isn't because he cares. It is for selfish reasons. If he has a "new AP" all of a sudden, I would probably say it was while he was with you. Not being harsh but it happens. It did me. I did want to mention the one of the OOW did go back to him and it was same ole. For me, never talked to him again. No need. All lies. I had made too friends on here that were a blessing for me to vent to. You ladies are such strong ladies and you will be great♥.

I wanted to say I made the mistakes too that I was not blameless but he was a piece of work. She had left her marriage for him. I had relocated to a new city and he most definitely had no place there. We are in foreclosure proceedings and have had troubles (health issues for me that are chronic) but DH has been there and vise versa. It does get easier and better if you are married. Love to you all.

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlending&msg=18824

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlending&msg=18825

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlending&msg=18881

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlending&msg=18885

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 7:20am

It is nice to see you, Lstwk. I miss your imput around here. Thank you for posting in and for your replies to the other threads. Could I twist your arm to stick around some? Seems like all of our vets have moved on.


(((Hugs)))

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 9:11am

Hi lstwk2002,

I followed your links and read your story. Wow is all I can say. I'm happy to hear you're 4 years of NC! An inspiration to many of us newbies here, including myself. I am sorry for health and financial issues you are facing, but glad to hear DH has been there for you.

Please stick around and post your sage advice from time to time.

I know many of us fantasize about marrying our xAP's, I did. xAP kept asking me, must have been at least a dozen times, but said I would only answer when I was free to do so. At the time I thought it a bit romantic, but now that I think about it 5 weeks into NC, it was weird for xAP to ask me to marry him when he was still married and I was still married. He was insistent about asking me. Now I realize he never had the intention of leaving his wife. I guess it was only a game to him, getting me to say yes. His words, his emails, his texts were only those...no action behind them and when I think about all that was exchanged, makes me cringe because we both exhibited a lot of adolescent behavior. Why did we both act like 17 year olds rather than 49 & 50 year olds? Sheesh.

MO

MovingON

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2008
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 12:07pm

@ Iddy, I can. I noticed that even Clarity is gone. She was here when I was. Great to see you and you are doing a wonderful job. Glad you remember me. I changed my handle a while back, don't need the old one. That is my pets initials btw;).

@ Movingon, A's have a way of bringing out the worst in us, judgment wise. Most MM have NO intention of leaving their W. I don't post advice on MAS because most over there don't really want to see that advice. I wouldn't have at the time. Congrats for the 1 month NC:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 5:46pm

Thank you for posting. It is always so nice when those who made it come back to tell the tale. I am over 5 months NC and can't wait to say 1 year ago, 2 years ago, 10 years ago... That's the thing about time right? It just keeps moving on like us. We will all get there someday. Congrats to you :)

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2010
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 5:57pm
Hope you stick around! Good to hear from those who have made it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2008
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 8:00am

Thank you Jane and LiveX. It is one day at a time. I had also posted if someone from MAS is reading these threads. NC was a way of making things heal faster.

No Contact=No New Hurts:)