Was it all just heartache?
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Was it all just heartache?
| Sun, 02-27-2005 - 4:28pm |
Na
Edited 3/1/2005 6:36 pm ET ET by downheartedscarlet
Edited 3/1/2005 6:36 pm ET ET by downheartedscarlet
| Sun, 02-27-2005 - 4:28pm |
u are absoulutely right, after the high, its mostly downhill from there, u only get to see other person on stolen time, why do we tolerate it, i dont know, we all have our reasons, now that u think of it, it crazy why u would submit yourself to such heartache,waiting and no knowing, its dysfunctional and unhealthy and yet we do it
i feel the same way too, OW was very loving, caring and gave me a lot of attention when we are together but she could not give me more time when i asked her too, she backed off, cannot spend time
its depressing coz its all lies, and know we realize it and we are mad, sad and upset and all kinds of emotions are overcoming us, we cant rationalize it at all but in time after the emotions have lowered we can see what we have done and for sure its not good, i too cannot see it until now, my heart is still clingy for hope, my minds has told me but my heart refuse to believe it for now, i had made the biggest mistake in my life , i am single and my affair with OW was/is the worst thing i have done to myself, i destroyed myself in the process, lost my dignity, my pride, i felt like a robot that she controls, i have lowered myself to a level that even my friends think that i am emotionally and or mentally inbalance, i have seek professional help to cope with my situation, ihave succumb to depression and i am taking meds, look what i have done to myself, its not her fault, its my fault !, i did it to myself and only I can undo it
im just pissed off , tired of all the heartache the A has brought me
max
You are completly right, affairs destroy the people that get sucked into them in the end there is a lot more pain and emotional damage then there is gain, a lot like Heroin or cocain addiction, starts out feeling great but the end is not pretty.
Free
Hey Scarlet,
Believe me, it's not just you. The biggest reason I finally ended my A was because I felt sad way more than happy. I see my story so many times on these boards, especially recently. Mine thought he had to give his M one more try too. I wish I had completely ended it at that time. But we drug it out another month. It's been 2 months now with NC. I'm a firm believer in it. Otherwise it's just like picking at a scab, it never heals. It DOES get better. YOu realize how much of your life and time you were giving up for someone that wasn't even with you!!! I was surprised how he took up all my time, yet it wasn't even close to a "full time" relationship...lol.
Stay on these boards, they help so much! I started lurking here for a couple weeks before I ended things, it made me see what I was putting myself through by holding onto that hope he was holding out.
I do wonder though, if all these MM seem so much alike, what is it in us women, that allows us to walk wide-eyed into an affair and think it will have a happy ending?
Owl
We do it because we're women, we are emotional and many of us believe in that fairy tale that hollywood tries to promote. We believe that there are more happy endings than sad. How many times can you say "You complete me." or "You had me at hello." aka Jerry McGuire. And how many times do you have dreams that he'll wake up realize what he lost when he let you walk out that door?
We believe in the good, we believe in love, we believe in the good in people....
And when we stop believing what happens? The world will be a sad place.
That's why we sometimes think our situation will finally have a happy ending. Why we keep trying. The same reason some W's and some H's keep trying with their M's - they believe as well.
Only you are responsible for your own happiness and you have the type of love life YOU want! You just need to figure it all out and decide what you want and don't settle for less!