Ways I keep myself trapped

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Ways I keep myself trapped
22
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 1:58am

There are days like today that I feel like Im swimming through quicksand.

I just took an inventory of all the ways I keep myself trapped. I thought that by writing out where my state of STUCK comes from – I can then employ solutions to get and keep myself UNSTUCK.

If anyone has ANY input, Expounding, Your own personal Struggle, or suggestions...I am OPEN to hear!!!

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010

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Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 8:50am

Michelle,

I am really impressed at all the time you spend thinking about and improving on, yourself. All of these thoughts are well thought out and take TIME to formulate into a reasonable statements.

I am not sure whether we are similar in our thinking or just so many of them resonate with me. Probably all of us.

#2 - This is one that really strikes a chord with me. Looking back on my life I tend to gauge all my success' with the amount of wins that I have. In fact I have always been a winner. Self esteem is not an issue with me. Many would think that I am arrogant. Not so! I am just a winner. In honesty, I have lost a few battles.

Speaking of this, this battle that I have faced is about winning and I realize it. Moving on has been hard because it is unfinished in my mind. I am not willing to accept defeat. I haven't turned this into a "win" situation (yet).

#3 - One of my favorite quotes, that I stole from somewhere:

We only miss what could have been.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2010
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 8:51am
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2010
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 8:59am
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 10:42am
  1. I bury my feelings. I shut down – to try to numb and dodge how hurt I am that this didn’t work out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 11:38am

Michelle this is fantastic work on your part!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 2:59pm

omg, ((((NM)))))

YOU wonderful little package of joy!!! Oh man. Im bawling.

It amazes me - that here I am feeling soooo pathetic about why I cant just decide something's over and have it be over - and you write that something I've done or posted has actually HELPED - it TOTALLY makes the struggle, embarrassment and impatience with myself... so WORTH it.

Your post had me laughing AND crying! (schizoid) hahahhaha

Do you know that THIS connection we just had

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 3:01pm

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 3:07pm
Love this thread! Some very valuable things are brought up here!

It's good work to focus on healing YOU to make things better in your life. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 3:35pm

((((Melinda)))))

You and I are getting alot of NIGHT TIME HOURS in, huh? The odd part? I think YOURE EAST COAST! hahahha :) But dont stop that now - I like knowing you're there in the wee hours...

1.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 3:52pm

Rather,

Thank you!!! Thank you for your contribution! I LOVE hearing different perspectives and where everyone is at on this 'breakdown' of our issues.

Now that you showed up with that Martini in hand...its after noon so, I don't mind if I do.... :)

You pointed it out - I definitely DO take the time to break it all down - Remember Im an Accountant - so my approach is to take a big jumble of crap and ORGANIZE it. I am SO linear and it really did help me to Get it all out like that. YOu must know...that it started out with me laying in a pile on my bed with what felt like a gaping chest wound of confusion. :)

Im GLAD to know, my list resonated with you! Because 1) its further proof that Im NOT alone! :) and 2) That means we can help eachother in SPECIFIC ways!

1. The "win". I so FELT what you meant about winning your entire life! Me too. If I wanted it...I got it. Dog with a bone...pull out all the stops. Whether it came swiftly or with great concerted effort...I won things. Yet...like you...this "unfinished business" hooks me too. My crippling thought:

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010

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