Alice, Ah, thank you so much. I fly to the stars thinking that I've helped someone. But, really, you helped yourself (I just pushed you a bit.) I'm really proud that you've quit drinking, even if only for the past three days; it's a fabulous start and I hope you can keep it up. I probably won't directly pontificate on AA on this board, but I'm sure that going to the meetings will have a profound influence on me and my postings. I hope the growth is evident in my behavior and attitudes.
If you'd like to see my journey from the beginning, you'll have to do an advance search for my posts. I think my first on was on or about Nov 4 2009. Moreover, I think you should do the search for Empowerment's posts; now SHE is someone you should study.
I don't like to analyze the JAMs or xAPs because, just like us, one size does not fit all. But, I hear and feel everything you said in your post about your lingering thoughts and feelings. And, I think we all do or did that, 'specially in the beginning. For me, the big weight was lifted when I forgave him, and just.... let it go. poof... into the cosmos... let God sort it out and take the burden from me. To spend time contemplating the X is like fretting about why we didn't pick the Right Tool for the Job. No matter what, he's still a Tool and the job wasn't worth doing! ykwim? And, I sure DID muse about what-if my X could read this board! Boy, did I! Not so much for his edification; it was my anger and hate oozing out -- I wanted him to hurt and know *exactly* what I thought of him. I've given up daydreaming about that poop, though. Thank goodness!
All of your colors will come back, don't worry! You're going to be a technicolor dream in no time flat.
Happy Sunday to you, too, Alice. Thank you for making my day brighter.
Alice,
Ah, thank you so much. I fly to the stars thinking that I've helped someone. But, really, you helped yourself (I just pushed you a bit.) I'm really proud that you've quit drinking, even if only for the past three days; it's a fabulous start and I hope you can keep it up. I probably won't directly pontificate on AA on this board, but I'm sure that going to the meetings will have a profound influence on me and my postings. I hope the growth is evident in my behavior and attitudes.
If you'd like to see my journey from the beginning, you'll have to do an advance search for my posts. I think my first on was on or about Nov 4 2009. Moreover, I think you should do the search for Empowerment's posts; now SHE is someone you should study.
I don't like to analyze the JAMs or xAPs because, just like us, one size does not fit all. But, I hear and feel everything you said in your post about your lingering thoughts and feelings. And, I think we all do or did that, 'specially in the beginning. For me, the big weight was lifted when I forgave him, and just.... let it go. poof... into the cosmos... let God sort it out and take the burden from me. To spend time contemplating the X is like fretting about why we didn't pick the Right Tool for the Job. No matter what, he's still a Tool and the job wasn't worth doing! ykwim? And, I sure DID muse about what-if my X could read this board! Boy, did I! Not so much for his edification; it was my anger and hate oozing out -- I wanted him to hurt and know *exactly* what I thought of him. I've given up daydreaming about that poop, though. Thank goodness!
All of your colors will come back, don't worry! You're going to be a technicolor dream in no time flat.
Happy Sunday to you, too, Alice. Thank you for making my day brighter.
xo
Dee