Weaning myself

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Weaning myself
2
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 6:38am
It's been almost one week since I've seen my OM. Quick recap...I'm 37 and have been with my guy for 18 years with no kids, he's single but has a woman interested in him. We were suppose to meet for lunch last Friday but I cancelled on him. I simply told him that I wasn't up to it (considering my close call a couple days prior when my husband passed me on my return trip from said rendezvous). The weekend passed and he had hoped that perhaps I might swing by but I didn't and instead on Sunday I left him a message just saying hey. A moment after leaving the message I received a "blocked" call on my caller ID so I called him right back. No answer... I called about 2 minutes later and he answered indicating that no he had not phoned me. Sooooo.... on Monday he called because he was concerned that I was thinking he may be playing phone games and he wanted to assure me that he was not, nor would he ever do anything to cause me trouble. He asked if I'd like to do lunch but I declined. I was kind of quiet during the conversation so he asked "are you trying to wean yourself from seeing me?" He commented that this new girl he has been seeing really seems to be drawing the two of us apart. It is disheartening to think he would be willing to give up something that might be nice just in hopes that I would one day possibly, by some chance actually leave my husband for him.

Sigh. This weekend the weather was nice and I was able to get outside and wander my two acres looking at all of the new plant growth, the dogs were racing around and basking in the sun. I thumbed through some perennial catalogs and really looked forward to working around my place in the upcoming months. It really was a breath of fresh air to put him behind me and focus on things I enjoy. I have spent a great deal of the last four months attempting to make my life seem "less than pleasant."

elf

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 7:19am
Isn't it amazing what a little sunshine can do for you whole outlook? :) I'm with you. I've had a couple of very good days as far as the xMM thoughts go and I am sure a lot of it has to do with the nice weather and getting outside to enjoy it.

Anyway Elf, you are doing the right thing by keeping your distance from OM. I feel sorry for the poor girl he is starting to see -- what a way to start a relationship, when the guy you're dating already has someone on the side! I am sure it is hard for you to do, but if you can wean yourself to the point of no contact I think you'll be doing a good thing for all of you!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 8:15am
No doubt. The poor girl is very much aware that his heart is elsewhere. He told me that she commented to him that he seems distracted and even asked him if he still had feelings for me and he told her yes. This of course caused her to cry. They've been seeing each other for about three weeks and for the first two weeks of their relationship he and I still met almost daily just to sit together at lunch, play kissy face and whatnot. We stopped meeting at his home because he works two blocks from his house and the girl is the sister in law of a co-worker so it has never been a big secret when my big 4x4 dodge is parked in his drive. I think this had a little bit to do with my wanting to end everything. It was one thing to have me sneaking around, risking my relationship but to put it on another "wonderful man full of morals" (until he met me at least) was another story. Imagine if we were found out and this new girl left him because he was screwing around with me.... only to have me also leave him in the end. I would be the cause of him losing both of us and that is something I don't want hanging over my head.

It would be so much easier if we were all just mad at one another. LOL






Edited 3/30/2004 9:16 am ET ET by dementedelf