Welcome lurkers!

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Welcome lurkers!
Sat, 08-04-2012 - 7:17pm

Hi all,  this is really Daisy4now

I know there are MANY lurkers out there and I would bet we posters all started out there too..I know I did. Here's my question:

I am genuinely interested in WHY people lurk, how long, do you get help, or comfort, or support, or maybe ideas for a great trashy novel!   Do you ever act on what you read in RL? how do you feel when you read the wide variety of posts?

So to encourage you to help answer this question without showing your spots, please meet


password is imalurker2 


He/she is our shared avatar -anyone can access it and post a word or two about why you visit.


Looking forward to hearing from you! let me know if probs -Daisy


PS the required email account is set up for welcomelurkers @gmail.com, but that's just a requirement. This board is where Havie will live


Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
In reply to:
Sat, 08-04-2012 - 7:23pm

Great Idea!!!

I hope it works.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
In reply to:
Sat, 08-04-2012 - 8:26pm
This is awesome! Thanks for starting this, Daisy!! Now, since I am not a lurker, I will step aside and let those who wish to become more acquainted with Havealurk!! :smileywink:

Hearts <3
Avatar for worthmore
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2012
Sun, 08-05-2012 - 9:36am
I'd be so interested to know in what ways you feel your affair is different. I've only seen two flavours of affairs. There's the we love each other but the timing isn't right for one or both of us to leave our partner. Then there's the this isn't love but we're helping each other scratch an itch. No sarcasm here. I'm genuinely interested in finding out about another flavour.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
In reply to:
Sun, 08-05-2012 - 11:12am
Thank you for coming forward. It's appreciated.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
In reply to:
Sun, 08-05-2012 - 12:13pm
another thought for lurkers, feel free to start your own threads on this board, using havealurk instead of your own user name, as a way to ask questions or make comments about your status.

user id is: havealurk
password is: imalurker2
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
In reply to:
Sun, 08-05-2012 - 3:56pm
Great idea sunrise
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2012
Sun, 08-05-2012 - 11:12pm

Hi, I'm a lurker. 

Recap: MM pursued me for years, I finally caved in 2 years ago. His W found out the first time, we broke up and I was sad. Got connected again. She found out the second time, he left and became so clingy. I broke up with him a couple of months ago. We still talk from time to time mostly because we work in the same field.

I lurk because it is comforting to know that I'm not alone. Having A with a MM is not something I can talk about with friends in RL. I don't post because I don't really have anything to share. When we broke up the first time, I was sad but it wasn't as if it was the end of the world. I don't hate him. When he left his W, he wanted me to uproot my life and be with him, I got cold-feet.

He is definitely more sappy than I am. He claims that we are soulmate, I see: this is his second marriage, four kids, emotionally needy. I can be objective and say he has a good work ethic (something I admire), ambitious, witty, and we just get along. I really like him, in small doses. I don't see why I have to go NC with him, because any contact we have now do not affect me emotionally. At times we go weeks not talking, and it doesn't bother me either. 

That's my story. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
In reply to:
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 1:11am

Welcome to all who would like to share where they are at.

Good idea Daisy4!


Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.