well he has moved on to another....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
well he has moved on to another....
13
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 2:25am

Hi there.. Im still new here and havent posted in a little bit as I have been dealing with so much pain within me. I just recently found out that AP moved on to another (which I did assume considering he hasn't been to into me near the end) I also saw her and she is stunning. I am not in her ballpark. I just torture myself by thinking all the things they must be doing and how into her he must be. Just like he was with me at one point. :( I cant help but compare myself to her and it is killing my spirit. I imagine all the cutsie messages they are sending to eachother and hate to say on here but I will.. the HOT passionate sex they must be having like we did once upon a time. How could he just forget me after a few years? I am thinking he just found someone "better" You see over the last couple of years I was constantly breaking things off with him and going back to him. He actually told me once that he knows I dont mean what i say. Obviously he is right for thinking that. Anyway I also didnt post on here because I was embarrassed. But i messaged him and he didnt respond. Of course my mind went to him the and new OW and how he is bored and done with me. I know it sounds CRAZY and ridiculous but I have suffered extreme self esteem issue over the last 2 and a half years being in this? Does that happen? Please give me some insight on how I can deal with this new A he is having and how I can repair myself. I know there isnt a quick fix.. but I need something positive to go on and right now I am anything BUT positive. I am in trouble! And screaming on the inside. I cant sleep, eat or do anything without thinking how UGLY I am now that I have seen who his object of affection is!!

Thanks for reading and listening.

Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them. --Shawn Alexander

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 8:08am

IBIM,

Forgive me, but I am not familiar with your story. I checked the Roll Call thread and saw that you didn't post in. Who's M in this situation? Both of you or is one of you S? I would need this information so I can give you a more detailed response.

Regardless of your situation, I am sorry you are witnessing/feeling such pain right now.

((Hugs))

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 10:34am

I agree with Iddy, we need more information about who is m and or single here.

I must ask you if you are co-dependent?

Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 12:38pm
it does not matter if she is beautiful or not. it all does not matter, my guy is on to someone else who i would not consider in my league, it still stings, she thinks he is king, has no idea he is married, it just does not matter. best thing is no contact, i am a newbie, n i am no expert, but i have had a alot of pain too. I can relate in every way. They move on. Everything I have read here is something that says these men, if not us, they will find another OW. Sorry this hurts you. Sorry that you suffer from low self esteem. U have to take back control of that. U have given him too much power. Trust me, the women my exap is dealing with are no quality women and it makes me feel no better. If anything it hurts me more. and as the other ladies have posted, i dont know enough about your situation to comment. i just know that whether she is a prize or some lowly good for nothing slut and looks horrible, it will still hurt. hope you feel better, i am new to new contact too. lean on me for support. i am here, we all are, i would suggest you do not contact him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 7:42pm

Hi sorry for leaving out important details :S I changed my name to something more positive.. my x member name was .. im_a_foolish_girl.

Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them. --Shawn Alexander
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 9:52pm

Wow, the guy sounds amazing.

Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 10:34pm

LOL.. yes you are so right. Well that is the thing his LIGF does know about me and apparently there were others prior. She called me and of course I denied it. She did seem nice and not like the psycho b**** he made her out to be. At this point I did try NC and went back... so the pattern had begun. It didnt matter what I would discover about him at this point I still thought the sun shined out of his A-hole LOL. Jk aside.. I really did and still do! This is not normal. I am in tears almost every night for the last year (even if I am with him.. actually it is worst when I am with him) good news is I refuse to go back. As much I may daydream about it! I don't want to chase my tail anymore with this! Just Sunday I couldn't get out of bed. It irks me that he is living oh so well! Dont get me wrong here I do NOT wish harm to anyone even him. But I just wish that he knows that what he is doing is hurting people. Now I ask.. did he want to hurt me? I don't understand how these A's work? What do they want? I have never been so confused! Glad I am out though, I will NOT BREAK NC AGAIN! That is a promise I'll make to myself. 2010 new beginnings. Now to deal with my own demons within that stemmed from all this. I have to admit that I was one of those girls that thought (how could anyone have or be involved in an A. Well I still don't have the answer LOL.. just happens! I question alot of things about me now? I dont know me anymore!!! Pair that up with poor self image.. OH BOY!!!

I am all over the place with this post.. so sorry!




Edited 12/14/2009 10:39 pm ET by i_believe_in_myself
Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them. --Shawn Alexander
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 10:44pm
your feelings are normal, continue, we often feel all over the place very normal....it will ease. just keep NC, you will see, it gets a little better and i want to commend you on your note to self to do some self awareness...focusing on you, that can only be a good thing....
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2004
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 11:08pm

Hi,


I'm new. I broke things off with XAP about two weeks ago but have only been NC for 2 days. aahh, so hard. I see alot of myself when I read your posts. If I were to see my xap with a new woman, it probably would upset me beyond belief and I would probably compare her and I and think about all the things they do. Thinking about it now gets me upset.


I know I have serious self-esteem and confidence issues and I have had them for awhile and never did anything about it. I am planning to start working on myself once I have the energy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 11:39pm
Anytime!!! I definitely dont have the answers but at least we know that we are not going insane or alone for that matter. That is a relief. Those thoughts were haunting me lastnight where I did not get any sleep. I have realized one thing and that is I was getting my feel good from an outside source and the moment he took that away I was and AM a mess. This is obviously not his doing and it has been inside me for a long long time. We will get through this. We have to. Thanks for your support and your kind words. I am feeling better then I did last night. I think I may get some sleep!
Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them. --Shawn Alexander
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 11:50pm
Did you ever notice that many of them refer their S.O.'s at psycho b$tches?
Onward and upward.

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