well he has moved on to another....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
well he has moved on to another....
13
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 2:25am

Hi there.. Im still new here and havent posted in a little bit as I have been dealing with so much pain within me. I just recently found out that AP moved on to another (which I did assume considering he hasn't been to into me near the end) I also saw her and she is stunning. I am not in her ballpark. I just torture myself by thinking all the things they must be doing and how into her he must be. Just like he was with me at one point. :( I cant help but compare myself to her and it is killing my spirit. I imagine all the cutsie messages they are sending to eachother and hate to say on here but I will.. the HOT passionate sex they must be having like we did once upon a time. How could he just forget me after a few years? I am thinking he just found someone "better" You see over the last couple of years I was constantly breaking things off with him and going back to him. He actually told me once that he knows I dont mean what i say. Obviously he is right for thinking that. Anyway I also didnt post on here because I was embarrassed. But i messaged him and he didnt respond. Of course my mind went to him the and new OW and how he is bored and done with me. I know it sounds CRAZY and ridiculous but I have suffered extreme self esteem issue over the last 2 and a half years being in this? Does that happen? Please give me some insight on how I can deal with this new A he is having and how I can repair myself. I know there isnt a quick fix.. but I need something positive to go on and right now I am anything BUT positive. I am in trouble! And screaming on the inside. I cant sleep, eat or do anything without thinking how UGLY I am now that I have seen who his object of affection is!!

Thanks for reading and listening.

Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them. --Shawn Alexander

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 11:57pm
OMG I am laughing.. been a while.. THANKS FOR THAT!!! why yes I have noticed their trend.


Edited 12/15/2009 12:08 am ET by i_believe_in_myself
Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them. --Shawn Alexander
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 7:45am

Dear Believe,


Thank you for filling in the missing details. I have noticed with other enders who got involved with someone who had LIGF somehow had a more difficult time in letting go and moving on. I think this is because on some deeper level, you always think that they aren't really M, and if you hang in there and work harder at it, you will be able to win him over someday. It's not going to happen, honey, especially if there are children involved.


<<

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 7:52pm
Thank you so much for sharing your advice and stories ladies. I am feeling better although I still have those strong feelings of him deep in my core. I am worried that I will never have that connection again. You see.... I never had that with anyone before even a man I once loved for 9 years. When we broke up of course it devastated me but i moved on. But this guy.. it is taking so much more longer.. i would say a year. I will let NC stick as I keep repeating this quote to myself " If you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you've always gotten. ... makes sense to me LOL. But i dont want to feel this pain anymore. It is a different pain. I have noticed that not only am i dealing with the end of this A but alot of personal self issues have come to surface. I have ALWAYS had these issues and I knew I was insecure but this A amplified them. I feel worthless, unattractive, not kind enough, funny enough, sexy enough etc. I am scared that after all this I wont be able to trust again. (im am single and I do want to settle down one day) I put all my trust in this man. Why is a question for my therapist LOL if you have a thought on why please feel free to advise. I swear this A messed me up on all levels. But at least I am not beyond repair and I do acknowledge all these issues and I am ready to put one foot in front of the other (thanks Iddy). Iddy I will have to re-read your post a few times today to find strength as today I am having more lows than highs.
Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them. --Shawn Alexander

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