Well it's over again, but for real this
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| Thu, 02-03-2005 - 11:57am |
time.
I guess I was still holding onto hope....hoping things would be different with MM, hoping he would "love" me as much as I love him. Nope!!! Just as everyone has said here, once NC is broken...nothing changes, the A is still the same as it was left the first time around.
I am so angry at myself. I knew I wasn't the only one but ignored my gut instincts. I got confirmation today of what I knew already to be true. I am angry. This time though I let him have it. I wrote a letter that said it all and all of it was the truth. I have said I always feel bad about being angry and the things that come out of my mouth in anger. However, not this time because everything I said to him was the truth as I know it to be about him.
He sent a reply but it will not be read b/c his words hold no truth. I don't care what he has to say or doesn't say anymore. My heartache is one of the many consequences of my choices. I know there will be many days of grief, of feeling loss, of feeling empty...but today I feel nothing but anger, and I'm going with that. I hate him today. That SOB!!!! A waste of my time and energy.
Wish me strength to overcome this,
SS

{{{{HUGS}}}}
I am sorry. i know hwo much this hurts. But if you truly want it over his time you will find the strenght It isnt easy but you know that!
I am here to listen. Best wishes!
SS
Use the anger to get you over the 3 week NC hump it's easier after that.
Good Luck
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