well now know the truth

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
well now know the truth
5
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 4:00pm

Well guys, what can I say?

You were right. And I was wrong.

An old friend called me today who incidently happens to ba an exboyfriend. He also happens to be XOM's best-friend.

He called me to say that XOM had told him about our A. This didn't particularly shock me as it is his best friend and they do tell each other everything. He wanted to reassure me that he would not tell anyone because of the fact that he knows I am married. He told me that although he and I were never that 'serious' when we were together, he still thought I was a nice girl and that I didn't deserve to get into something without knowing the whole truth.

He told me that XOM had done this before. Twice in fact. It seems that he has a thing for married women.

XOM had never told me that before. My friend told me that XOM was GENUINLEY fond of me, but that he had , had his eye on me for a long time.

Although this friend of mine never said it, it was clear that I was a conquest of XOM's.

I thanked my friend and sat there for a long time.

5 years of friendship. 5 years of XOM being there for me, telling me I was his best friend. And the whole time it meant nothing.

If I wasn't just another MW for XOM to try and tempt away, why didn't he tell me about the other MW he had been with?

I feel like an idiot.

Worst of all, he's just sent a text message.

It starts with 'hi gorgeous'.

What a joke.

I need you guys.

m x.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 4:12pm

Wheres

Hon been there done that, all you can do is accept the truth, don't take any of it as personal because it is not, it has nothing to do with us it is about them and there defects as human beings.

Delete his latest greatest worthless selfserving e-mail, then call hubby and warm up to him, because dispite his short comeings he is the one that loves you.

You need to get the point wheres with these two e-mails in a row he is moving toward sucking you back into the affair, his twisted sense of self esteem cant hack that you are walking away from him, be warn.

I suggest officially ending this phony friendship once and for all there really is know there way.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Sat, 10-23-2004 - 5:40am
hi mefree,

I didn't reply to his message. He's probably wondering why since he sent another saying

'are you there?'

If he was a true friend, he would have given me some space when I ended it instead of sending me massages and songs. If he was a true friend he wouldn't have gotten involved with me at all. I know that I did alot of the chasing, but wouldn't a true friend that knew what a vulnerable position I was in have said

'y'know maybe this isn't such a good idea. Let me make you a coffee and we'll talk it over. We are friends and nothing more'

I wasn't looking for a FWB, I was looking for a shoulder to cry on and someone to listen. I needed a friend. He needed a f*** buddy. He flirted with me at a time when I had zero self esteem. Called me everyday because he knew I was lonely. He took advantage of the trust I felt for him.

I dont know what will happen now, fingers crossed it will be fine.

Thankyou for the kind and thoughtful reply, although I have to ask what happened to the Amazonian B**** from hell? (your words not mine, LOL)

thanks sweetie,

m x

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 10-23-2004 - 9:03am
I don't usually post here but I wanted to respond. I am so sorry you found about his other flings. That must have hurt. But remember he was there for you at a time when you needed him. Who cares about him and his intentions. He served his purpose. Maybe he helped you stay in your M long enough for your H to come around. You are in a better place now without OM being a factor. You don't need him anymore. If anything this should be one more reason you are done and happy your H and you are moving in a positive direction.

try not to let the ego bruise sting too long.

Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sat, 10-23-2004 - 2:09pm
Wheres

The answer to your questions is "YES", as Poise would say a real friend does not involve you in lieing,cheating,sneaking around and all the of this stuff.

ABFH did not live what you have but I did she will make her visits when required but now is not one of them.

Best you can do is to put this twisto behind you as forceably as is required and move forward with your life.

Be true to you because Twisto never will be

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 10-23-2004 - 7:53pm

Your xOM served his purpose while you were at your low self-esteem point. You've since built yourself up and have chosen to move on.


As a male I question what reason your "old friend" had in talking about xOM except to make you feel crummy again about yourself. "Old friend" could just as well have kept his mouth shut to you as he is supposedly going to do with your husband. He didn't (intentionally) and momentarily you feel crummy.


Look forward.


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