What is the #1 thing you did to get over

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
What is the #1 thing you did to get over
14
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 11:42pm
I must say up front that I am really not ready to be here yet but I wanted to know from some of you who have beeen down this road already. What is the #1 thing you did to put your A behind you? I am not ready to and may not ever be ready to but I want to be somewhat armed in case I can and do one day. Thanks in advance for your help.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 11:22am
Most of you who answered this question were in the position of the OW. Who out there is the married spouse who is involved in an affair, would like to end it for the sake of the marriage but is in love with the good feelings of the affair and can't bring yourself to end it or when you do try, can't stick with the NC? If you are in this position, please help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 10:48pm
Andi

That is me exactly. It has been a while since I started this thread. The NC has not lasted and I keep gettign deeper and deeper into this. It started out as a flirtatious things with the man I dated right before DH. We then met a few times and kissed. It has been a long time since we have seen each other but in the last 2 months things have really heated up. I know wen we do see each other it is going to be explosive. I do love my H. Do not want to end my M at all! But like you said I love the good feelings this brings. I don't know how I got here or even how to begin to get out if I can. Hope we can share our situations together. We sound like we are in similar places.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sun, 05-23-2004 - 9:24pm
Hi. We're in similar places but on opposite sides of the fence. It's my husband who is having the affair. He's tried to stop it several times and managed NC for almost 2 months but got back with her when his feelings overtook him again. He says he doesn't want to give up his family but can't (won't) or isn't ready to give her up yet either. I'm trying to give him space to get it together but I'm also looking for ways to help him along. He's an intelligent man and if he reads something here that clicks with him, some things others have done to get out of the situation, he may have the courage to give it another try.

I wish you all the best.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 10:39am
Sister, I'm in the same boat with you....if you figure it out, please send me an email!!

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