What did I do??!!
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What did I do??!!
| Wed, 11-19-2003 - 11:26am |
I can't believe what I did yesterday. It was a little over a month since I had seen my OM and things were going really well with my H. My OM had small contact by messaging but nothing serious. I had just assumed we had "broken up." Well out of the blue, he calls me and asks me to visit, we hadn't seen each other in a while and we still remain friends. So after some hesitation, I went over to visit and told myself nothing was going to happen. But guess what.......I gave in. What is this hold that this OM has over me? I consider myself a usually strong independant woman, but he does something to me everytime. Does anyone else have this problem? Now I have no idea what to do. Should I just pretend that nothing ever happned and walk away for good? Or do I continue to give in until we mutually decide to "break up?"
I also wanted to say that it is such a relief to see these boards. There were times I felt like I was alone in this and reading your postings really help me through times where I feel like I was the only woman in the world experiencing my situation.
Edited 11/20/2003 4:33:20 PM ET by arcy4u

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Sal
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Remember there are no mistakes only lessons learned.
Hugs Luv
xxxx
First of all I wanted to say sorry that you "slipped". It happens and personally it had happened to me several times. 2.5 months ago I was exactly where you are now. I wondered why "he" had so much control and power over me. Well that is because I let him, I gave in because I wanted to. Do you have an idea of what you would like to see happen with your marriage? If you want your marriage to work maybe you should not continue to be "friends" with your om for now. I will forever agree that no contact is the way to go. It doesn't work for everyone, but for a majority it seems like it does, and it was the only way I could every move forward with my life (Thanks ex-om for forcing the no contact on me....lol). Don't beat yourself up over this "slip". It is done and over, you can't change it, you can only learn from it!!
Hugs,
Karry
Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige
Well I know I should cut off contact and I am not blaming him completely, I could have walked out before anything happened. I just have a different connection with him than my husband and I am afraid I am going to miss that. As far as my H. I want to work things out. I want to find that "spark" we had when we got married. Guess I can't have my cake and eat it too, huh? Have any of you seen the movie UNFAITHFUL with Richard Gere? The scene where Diane Laine pictures herself walking away from the man she has an affair with instead of going upstairs with him, I do that sometimes. I wonder what would have happened if I had just walked away rather than stayed and said hello. Sorry to keep rambling, but for the first time in my life I a so full of confusion.
Been there done that...I fooled myself into thinking that OM and I could remain just friends....but it would be impossible to see him and "that" not to happen! And when "that" happens, then it is hard to put your feelings in perspective and ever move on from the A.
This "lets just be friends" stuff is possible, but you have a better chance of winning Lotto. This is why many women in our situation HAVE to do NC. No text messages, no emails, no contact whatsoever.
Do you live in Maryland by any chance? just curious, because just calling to say come over is something my XOM would do.
Jazzdiva
yes, of course men have feelings...and he can be struggling with this whole thing just like you are. He wants you and can't have you......how gut wrenching is that? His distance is his way of reacting.
You say you are going to see him before he leaves Saturday? Is that so you can say goodbye just for the weekend, or forever? It is time for you to make some decisions before this turns into something deeper and more painful. If you walk away now atleast you saved yourself the chance of getting caught by your husband.
Good luck.
Jazzdiva
I have seen that movie "Unfaithful" and it was very sad. I can't believe I've put myself in this situation. My best to you. We will get through this.
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