What do I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
What do I do?
1
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 4:37pm
Hi...newbie here desperately in need of help. In R with MM for a year. How do I end it? Met OM in vocational school. I can't just quit school so as not to have any contact with him. Don't want to end it but know it is the best thing to do for me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
In reply to: mommy2brat
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 7:13pm
Are you married? Any hope of reviving your marriage -- through counseling, for example?

If you're single (I am), my theory is that there's a big hole in your life that you're filling with this unsatisfying, dead-end relationship that meets some unfulfilled need. I think counseling is also a good option to solve that problem too.

I was in a 3yr relationship with an MM who was a good friend for years before the A. I was a year divorced, very lonely - physically and emotionally, feeling unsexy and afraid to venture out in the real world. The MM fit the bill of meeting lots of needs in a half-arse, unhealthy way.

I started by reading here ALOT & the articles & links & books suggested by people. I started weaning myself from the MM by cutting back on time spent with him or talking to him on the phone. Emails had sort of dried up after the first year or so. I started dating again. I spent 6 mos. in therapy after I ended it with MM because I continued to crave his kind of attention even after I was sure I wanted to be free. It's VERY addictive.

I also attended a 12 step group --codependents anonymous -- for a time. Another person recommended Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous that would also be good.

Now, in a healthy loving relationship with a single guy (divorced dad) -- I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. almost a year post-A. Getting out is like getting out of prison.

Good luck to you!!