What to do when he calls??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
What to do when he calls??
2
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 7:47am
First thank you to everyone for last night's support! But when morning comes a new wave of hope or excuses start on why he never called. Today is our NC day that we agreed upon because I work today and it's just to stressful for me to handle 10 minute conversations before work. Especially if he is in one of his moods. But he may call later after work. Wonder what his excuse will be this time. And if I make any type of comment that I am upset he didn't call he will bite my head off..."why does everyone want something from me, I am Mr. do-it-all for everyone". I can hear it now. Or he will be his nice self since tomorrow is usually our meeting day.

I want to meet him tomorrow and get the phone and be done with this but not sure if I have the strength. I want to be all dressed up for business and make him realize what he had lost...what he didn't have the strength to keep. But I am afraid seeing him will make me weak and I won't walk away!! He said that song by andy griggs She thinks she needs him was us...what a line of bull huh...he doesn't need me he doesn't even call. But I know what he will say if I am upset about that "why everytime I don't call you question us??" Answers to all this crap he feeds me?? This is his 2nd affair...and I have a feeling not his last. It's a shame another women will be hurt like this again...and his wife why would she put up with this?? She knows about both affairs??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 8:08am
hi there Starting--

Stay strong! It sounds like you already know what you have to do. It also sounds like you have learned so much from these two relationships that the next time you meet someone you will be so much smarter!

<<> Don't even think about what he thinks. Tell yourself that he will miss you (deep down he does, but guys have a different way of dealing with that). Once you tell yourself he will indeed miss you, then move onin your thought process. Now it's going to be all about you. It doesn't matter what he thinks!!! What matters is what you think and what you can do all on your own. The truth is that you DON'tT need a man to do this! The funny thing is that your dream guy will come along when you least expect it and when you aren't looking for it. You will have gotten to the place where you are comfortable with who you are and with your life the way it is -- that's the point when you will find happiness (and the dream guy who will fall into your lap :-)

My XMM called me last week and I had to make a list for myself of reminders. It was a great mental exercise for me. Either go back and read my list or start your own :-)

Good luck--you are definitely on the right track!

Meg

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 8:24am
Thanks Meg!! One thing from both of these relationships I have learned is will someone truly love me like I want them too?? Or am i just too picky!! I joke that I have a list as long as Santa's about the man I want for me now. I made 2 big mistakes in my life now with men and I sure don't want to make a 3rd. The scariest thing for me is what if he just quits calling doesn't even call to meet tomorrow. Half of me wants to rip him a new one when he calls and the other half wants to end peacefully and then there's a 3rd that just wants to keep on going. But it's taking a toll on me and my kids. I am biting their heads off one minute and after he call and is all nice I am in heaven. It's driving me nuts. And on top of all this my x is verbally abusive and says how worthless I am and sick everytime I see him!!

God give me strength to move on and find myself!!

hugs!