What do you do to feel "better"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
What do you do to feel "better"?
3
Fri, 04-22-2005 - 10:03am

It seems like there are so many on the board hurting right now. Why is it that Spring seems to be the time for this? I know that during my ema, this time of year was always the hardest, and it is still the time of year where he pops into my head the most. Maybe if we "survivors" share our "secrets" it would help those that are feeling the hurt.

1. Just get through each day in the beginning. Try not and think about down the road.

2. Do something you love each day. For me it is a hot bubble bath and a great book. A glass of great wine is an added bonus on a hard day!!

3. Get a work out in. It really does release them endorphins that make us feel so much better.

4. If possible, talk to someone. I have a therapist who really earns her money, haha. But I also posted here ALOT, and have some really great friends that I was able to talk to that helped so much.

5. I am not much into self-help books, but I know others in our situation who swear by them and I bet you could get some great suggestions of really good ones that have helped others on the board.

6. Keep a journal. Write in it for five minutes a day or whatever. For me putting it down on paper got things out of my head and cleared my mind.

7. Start something you have always wanted to accomplish like a class in something or skydiving (I'm dying to do this, but way to chicken still to take the leap!!!)

Does anyone else have anything else that was helpful? I would love to see them and if old timers like me came out of lurkdom I bet the updates on how you are doing would be very helpful!!

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2004
Sat, 04-23-2005 - 10:09pm

(((Karry)))

You have offered excellent advise here. I was surprised no one had responded, but weekends are slow, and from what I have just read in all of these posts, most seem to be a walking nerve ending, and probably encapable at this time to share anything but their pain.

I am an oldtimer, and used to post more profusely several months ago. I am mostly on the All Sides board now creating havoc (was a bad girl this week and got slapped by the TOS) but other than that I would like to say I am definitely a success story, going on 11 months of affair freedom. For those who read my posts from yonder pain, I still work with my XMM and unfortunetly still have to wear the iron glove when he gets stupid every once in a while. He is still having difficulties in accepting a decision I made in what now seems like another lifetime ago.

I knew him for 10 years before we took the nestea plunge, and that lasted for 4.5 years until I made that final break to freedom. I have been lucky in being able to dismantle all emotional connections, and now see a man who is weak, immobile and still stuck in the slow lane of life. I consol him when I am strong and lash him when I am irritated but other than that, I am *NOT* in any way, shape or form connected to the lies and betrayal we pulled off for such a long period of time back in the day ;)

I have taken pride in knowing that I am stronger than him, probably always was, but seduction and desire weave a forbidden web that once broken free of, gives a person (then creature) power to crawl off into another direction and keep on scurrying off until the legs are strong enough to carry the weight of one's own wrong doing and poor choices.

My story may be quite different than most in that I still see him everyday, but I wish for all to understand this does *NOT* entitle me to speak of friendship that may have survived the ashes. He is *NOT* my friend. I have never once allowed myself to think in these terms. You cannot go back to what was, once you have traveled to what should never have happened.

Peace to all of you who struggle. Only *TIME* will be the healer.

Id

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Sat, 04-23-2005 - 11:18pm

thanks karry, like Id said, maybe its slow, im catching up on the board

i am writing everything i feel in a journal, i have filled 2 notebooks already of words for OW in the past 3 weeks, only been that long but its seems an eternity to me

i am trying to get back into exercise although i still failed to drag myself into doing it, i like to run but still cannot do it

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 3:24pm

Good topic. Things I do to feel "Better":

I sometimes let myself have ice cream or something really sinful just because. I try to exercise more too. I write. I come here and read postings and respond. My responses sometimes help me as well even though I'm trying to be helpful to others. I remind myself of what my life was like before the EMA started. I was doing wonderfully, was happy and had lost weight. I felt like a million bucks..I'm trying to get back there (having the ice cream doesn't help, but I don't have it that often..so it's not too bad). I work hard at creating a wonderful life for this family that I am part of (dh and kids). I spend time with them, and we enjoy our time together. I seemed to be addicted to the email interaction with ExMM, and so I have found some online forums to interact with female friends about common interests. It helps. It's nice to email with and post among people about things you enjoy and have in common. It is helping me break the "cycle" of wanting email from "HIM"..I am trying to be more consistent in doing things I love, that I used to not make time for.