What do you say to yourself?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
What do you say to yourself?
18
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 4:17pm

There are quite a few Newbies here and some not-so-newbies who have shown some signs of struggling. There is so much hope here at EAS, otherwise we wouldn't be hanging around, would we? I know that in four months, I have learned so much about myself, about affairs, about my responsibility and role, and how to heal.

There are so many tools to find here to help one along in their journey. One of things I did/do a lot of when I was/am feeling down, is to repeat certain phrases that for some reason, really had an impact on my thinking.

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 6:45pm

Hi Always,

Good idea for

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 7:04pm

As a newbie, maintaining NC is still my biggest challenge and I couldn't have done it without the tried-and-true:

1. Silence is dignified. Silence is heard.

2. No new contacts means no new hurts.

I also imagine myself at the end of my life, looking back on the decisions I made, and try to make sure that the choices I make from now on in are choices that I can be proud of.

And for overcoming sadness or self-pity, there's nothing like deciding to "act the way you want to feel" which usually starts with singing one of my kids' favourite happy songs "If you're happy and you know it ... " or "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family" (after all these years of tertiary education you might think I could come up with something slightly more sophisticated, but at this point in my life, all that really matters is that it works!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2011
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 7:10pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2011
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 7:21pm

NC = NNH was a mantra for me the first few days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 7:27pm
Hi Alwayst2,

I tell myself that I cannot use another person to see myself through my low moments. I realize alot more clearly how I did that alot, use someone to get me through my bad times. I never did any work myself to discover who I am and how I could change my ways to make myself better. I am working on finding that healthy balance of when to seek support and when to look at myself for my answers:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2010
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 8:45pm

This is great Always, my mantras:

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2011
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 9:21pm
For me the following slaps me back to my senses:
* I will not disrespect myself, my H or my sons anymore;
* I will not allow JAM disrespect me, my H or my sons anymore;
* I belong, body and soul, to my H only;
* I am going to protect my dignity and integrity.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 9:51pm

Alwayst2...thanks for posting this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 10:53pm
Ok mine are:

1. NC = No New Hurts (God that is so true!)
2. This was always going to end
3. I wouldnt want him even if I was single- he doesnt hold a candle to my H
4. I am better than that
5. I have the best family in the world, they deserve the best me I can be

Iggy x
You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 6:15am

Vanessa,

"Out of mind" experience!!! I love it. Sooooooo true. As in "I must have been out of my freakin mind." Great mantra.

xo

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.

Pages