You're killin' me!! Actually, I'll be in Orlando for xmas!! I have family there I haven't seen in 10 years (taht's another long and sorted story!!) How ironic is that??
Ok - your story just made me miss xOM even more than I already did!! What an amazing night you had together. I don't know if you ever told me exactly why you broke it off? He is single, and your H passed away...what happened?
Alright...here is my sappy story....
One day, xOM told me he wanted to take me to a park where he had had a staff retreat the week before. H was working late that day, so we planned to meet right after work. There was a big lake there w/ducks. xOM stopped and picked up a loaf of bread and we sat by the lake feeding the ducks for hours! We named all the ducks (including a cute little family that consisted of a mother duck and 5 brown babies and one cute little yellow one we named Lester - he was our favorite). It was an amazing day...probably the best 'date' I have ever been on. We just sat there...feeding the ducks, talking about what our lives would be like if we could have a non-secretive relationship, talking about our families and friends, learning about each other, holding hands, laughing, kissing...It was totally a scene from a cheesy chick-flick!! I never wanted it to end. G-d I miss that a$$hole!! :-)
It's funny...thinking about that day I thought would make me sad. But it doesn't. It actually made me smile. I know this is stupid, but no man, not even my H has ever made me feel as SPECIAL as xOM did. Something about the way he looked at me, smiled at me, touched me...maybe it was because I was his first I love you...I don't know...but, for what it's worth, I'm glad I had the chance to feel that...regardless of the outcome (I'm sure I'll feel differently tomorrow!!).
Oh yes, my husband found out about him because someone told him he had seen me in a car with this OM. And to my bad bad bad luck my husband walked in on a convo with him on the phone and that convo was a wee bit heated. Hence fireworks broke out at home, and it took me all I had to convince H that he was only a friend and that I was just kidding around. No one knows yet that I have had a full blown affair with this man. So see.. thats another crazy thing I did. We have blinders when it comes to these sweet talkers.
Well I have not sent the official letter to OM, its all framed out but I am waiting the right moment to send it if he pushes towards meeting. If he lets me be, I will not send it because I have already mentioned in one sms to him that we are over. The next day he texted back asking what was wrong with me and was I drunk? He is really selfish, only wants to meet at his convenience. I have just been foolish about him, but am so in love with him that anythign can make me regress.
After that final sms , he was online and IMed me to which I replied I was busy. Post which I never spoke to him even when he came online. That is as far as I have gone, its been 5 days and I am just so scared I will regress in a minute if he says the three words ILU or IMU. I am too vulnerable right now, though many on the boards have backed me and encouraged me, which has kept me goign so far.
7 weeks, congratulations, you have kept it up, I have broken up and got back in 2 weeks about 3 times with this guy so this period is very crucial for me.
I don't expect to please anyone or make any new friends by suggesting that this thread is counter productive to you efforts to end your affairs and keep them ended.
I don't see the benifit of romantising CHEATING on your husband or S/O, it seems like it will only put you back to square one and lead right back into the Adulterous relationships your trying to escape.
Diva you said in your post that her post made you miss XOM is that really helping you be true to your good husband.
Like I said I don't expect anyone to like what I am saying but it seems to me this thread has moved in a direction that is not helping any of you to steer clear of regressing but may be pushing you toward doing so.
I think UHG's intenet was to make us see the ridiculous things we had done and how sneaky and wrong it had been. It may have gotten of path and turned into "What was your favorite memory of X", (UHG & I tend to end up having our own conversations) but I'm glad it did, because (yes I do still miss him) I just realized that I can now think of some of those memories and smile rather than cry.
The A will never be ok, what I did will never be ok, but once I can stop crying over it, I can start healing.
I was not questioning intent just the results it was having.
I do challange the idea the these memories of cheating and lieing to your spouse will ever be ok or should be viewed as romantic or should be held in fond rememberance, the question to ask yourself if it was your husband doing it would you think it would be ok for him to have these memories and look back on them and fondly when he remembers the OTHER WOMAN, if it would not be good gfor him to be doing it it is not good for the wife to be doing it either.
Again time and distance tends to adjust prospective in most cases, look this over again in a year or so and see what you think then.
Well, the three (AP and his girlfriend at the time) of us met at the mall to see a movie, and he sat between the two of us. She even left to go get popcorn AFTER the movie started, leaving us alone in the theater for a few minutes! We walked around the mall, and talked and flirted and she was totally oblivious. It was about unreal and part of me felt if she was going to stand there and not pick up on anything then she (almost) deserved to be cheated on!
I look back on it and I think geez! How rediculous was that?! But then..when DH had his affair, I was clueless too even though I'd had the girl over my house for dinner.
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UHG -
You're killin' me!! Actually, I'll be in Orlando for xmas!! I have family there I haven't seen in 10 years (taht's another long and sorted story!!) How ironic is that??
If you're ever in Arizona, Starbucks is on me :-)
Diva
Ok - your story just made me miss xOM even more than I already did!! What an amazing night you had together. I don't know if you ever told me exactly why you broke it off? He is single, and your H passed away...what happened?
Alright...here is my sappy story....
One day, xOM told me he wanted to take me to a park where he had had a staff retreat the week before. H was working late that day, so we planned to meet right after work. There was a big lake there w/ducks. xOM stopped and picked up a loaf of bread and we sat by the lake feeding the ducks for hours! We named all the ducks (including a cute little family that consisted of a mother duck and 5 brown babies and one cute little yellow one we named Lester - he was our favorite). It was an amazing day...probably the best 'date' I have ever been on. We just sat there...feeding the ducks, talking about what our lives would be like if we could have a non-secretive relationship, talking about our families and friends, learning about each other, holding hands, laughing, kissing...It was totally a scene from a cheesy chick-flick!! I never wanted it to end. G-d I miss that a$$hole!! :-)
It's funny...thinking about that day I thought would make me sad. But it doesn't. It actually made me smile. I know this is stupid, but no man, not even my H has ever made me feel as SPECIAL as xOM did. Something about the way he looked at me, smiled at me, touched me...maybe it was because I was his first I love you...I don't know...but, for what it's worth, I'm glad I had the chance to feel that...regardless of the outcome (I'm sure I'll feel differently tomorrow!!).
Diva
Oh yes, my husband found out about him because someone told him he had seen me in a car with this OM. And to my bad bad bad luck my husband walked in on a convo with him on the phone and that convo was a wee bit heated. Hence fireworks broke out at home, and it took me all I had to convince H that he was only a friend and that I was just kidding around. No one knows yet that I have had a full blown affair with this man. So see.. thats another crazy thing I did. We have blinders when it comes to these sweet talkers.
Well I have not sent the official letter to OM, its all framed out but I am waiting the right moment to send it if he pushes towards meeting. If he lets me be, I will not send it because I have already mentioned in one sms to him that we are over. The next day he texted back asking what was wrong with me and was I drunk? He is really selfish, only wants to meet at his convenience. I have just been foolish about him, but am so in love with him that anythign can make me regress.
After that final sms , he was online and IMed me to which I replied I was busy. Post which I never spoke to him even when he came online. That is as far as I have gone, its been 5 days and I am just so scared I will regress in a minute if he says the three words ILU or IMU. I am too vulnerable right now, though many on the boards have backed me and encouraged me, which has kept me goign so far.
7 weeks, congratulations, you have kept it up, I have broken up and got back in 2 weeks about 3 times with this guy so this period is very crucial for me.
Hugs back
Trish
sc
I'm betting that a lot of people on here have romantic stories just like ours.
sc
I don't expect to please anyone or make any new friends by suggesting that this thread is counter productive to you efforts to end your affairs and keep them ended.
I don't see the benifit of romantising CHEATING on your husband or S/O, it seems like it will only put you back to square one and lead right back into the Adulterous relationships your trying to escape.
Diva you said in your post that her post made you miss XOM is that really helping you be true to your good husband.
Like I said I don't expect anyone to like what I am saying but it seems to me this thread has moved in a direction that is not helping any of you to steer clear of regressing but may be pushing you toward doing so.
JMHO
Free
<<>>
I think UHG's intenet was to make us see the ridiculous things we had done and how sneaky and wrong it had been. It may have gotten of path and turned into "What was your favorite memory of X", (UHG & I tend to end up having our own conversations) but I'm glad it did, because (yes I do still miss him) I just realized that I can now think of some of those memories and smile rather than cry.
The A will never be ok, what I did will never be ok, but once I can stop crying over it, I can start healing.
JMHO,
Diva
Diva
I was not questioning intent just the results it was having.
I do challange the idea the these memories of cheating and lieing to your spouse will ever be ok or should be viewed as romantic or should be held in fond rememberance, the question to ask yourself if it was your husband doing it would you think it would be ok for him to have these memories and look back on them and fondly when he remembers the OTHER WOMAN, if it would not be good gfor him to be doing it it is not good for the wife to be doing it either.
Again time and distance tends to adjust prospective in most cases, look this over again in a year or so and see what you think then.
JMHO
Free
<<>>
GOOD POINT!! :-)
Diva
Well, the three (AP and his girlfriend at the time) of us met at the mall to see a movie, and he sat between the two of us. She even left to go get popcorn AFTER the movie started, leaving us alone in the theater for a few minutes! We walked around the mall, and talked and flirted and she was totally oblivious. It was about unreal and part of me felt if she was going to stand there and not pick up on anything then she (almost) deserved to be cheated on!
I look back on it and I think geez! How rediculous was that?! But then..when DH had his affair, I was clueless too even though I'd had the girl over my house for dinner.
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