What freaking timing!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
What freaking timing!
17
Thu, 12-04-2003 - 11:16pm
Ok well I just got back from my "date" that my Bro's GF mom set me up on. Well it was me, my bro's GF mom, My bro's gf, the guy and his dad. It went ok. I am very shy so I don't know what he though about me but he is a firefighter and very attractive and nice. So we will see what happens.

Ok so I get home check my computer and ugh! e-mail from XMM. Ok he didn't do it own his own but responded to an e-mail I sent like a week and a half ago when I was having a bad day. I just sent an e-mail and asked Do you love me? that was it. He hasn't talked to me in all this time why respond now? He responded by saying well it doesn't matter anymore but a better question would have been how much do I love you. He also said this is the worstt think he has had to do. Then said No need to respond. Hello slap me in the face. I know I e-mailed him keep in mind a while ago but damn why did he respond. Now that just made me remember that their anniversary is in two days.

I don't know how to feel right now and if I am going to start crying. I read the e-mail three times. All I am saying is why didn't he just keep ignoring me?

Please keep me in you thoughts the next few days could be rough.

Cali~

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Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Thu, 12-04-2003 - 11:20pm
cali....this is why NC is important. If you ignored his email then you would have gotten empowerment,,,now all you got his more heartache....just ignore him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jazzdiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 1:05am
Hey Cali ~ Sorry this happened, but please don't let it spoil all the progress you have made. Going out with someone else, even just with a group of friends -- that's great! You are definitely moving on, even though it may not feel like it right now. Try to put his E-mail out of your mind as much as you can, and definitely DO NOT respond to it. Keep your head held high, and stay strong on the NC, OK?? Let us know how you're doing!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 2:41am
Cali, you are always in my thoughts... hang in there... I'm channelling positive thoughts and strength to you right now, across the internet waves .... can't you feel it?? LOL

Alright, you've read it three times, now put the email out of your mind. If you can't delete it (believe me, I know how hard it is to delete old messages from HIM), put it into a separate folder so at least it's not staring at you in the face whenever you go to your inbox.

hugs to you

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 5:23am
You are in my thoughts, Cali....

How many times I have heard the "it doesn't matter" line.....

Hang in there...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 10:10am
Fire fighther...yumm.. I love it... We had a little incident here at the house last week and we had two HOTTIES respond.. The carbon monoxide detector was going off...before they got here, and the fire alarm kept going off while they were here well my internal one that is... if you know what I'm saying.. We may have an incident here everyweek until we get dates...I have a female roomate..ha ha...Notice how I didn't say anything about XMM.. because he is not worth it RIGHT>>> you know that...silly,.. so you slipped it's OK...

CONFESSION TIME: I had a slip this Monday.. I called XMM at work.. to ask him something about an e-mail I sent a month ago about the baby... He was trying to be all friendly...like we were friends.. He said he was away and couldn't e-mail me back.. I kept the call breif and let him know what I wanted. 2 mins total... SO after that.. I was pissed that he was trying to be friendly with me when he had ignored my e-mail for a month so I sent him a really nasty e-mail about what a jerk /liar he was... It made me feel good even if it was wrong. Well last night I finally got the promised e-mail reply to the e-mail I sent him a month ago and it was long overdue answers I had been waiting for. And even an apology for not responding sooner..SO I'm feeling pretty good today,,, Pretty resolved and settled..

BACK TO YOU: If you like this guy...go for it... Could be fun.. get some free dinner and movies..Lord knows he probably won't be the one but, as my mother always says if he's not the one, he may be the one who introduces you to the one... In other words..If you don't at least get out there...you'll never meet anybody...

BE GOOD!!! FORGIVE yourself...I fell off the wagon too... I was just too embarassed to admit it.. but it's true... so we reset the NC clock today... big dumb deal..

Love, KATJA

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 11:13am
Katja, your words about your MM being all FRIENDLY brought back memories and makes me wonder if they're ALL THE SAME!!! When I first did NC it lasted 4 months. For a stupid reason (I know you understand) I emailed MM and his reply was also friendly. Too darn friendly b/c he acted as if we were some sort of long lost buddies! HUH? Where the heck was he during the 4 months of NC? The reality of how little he cared made NC easier to stick to this time around.

These MM certainly love it when we stroke their little egos don't they!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 11:31am
Cali, how are YOU doing? I hope you're busy with that new fireman...LOL I hope that you do know that they're not only good at putting out fires but also at keeping the home flames burning :-)

Honey, as to MM, here is a thought to ponder...you're a GREAT lady and he knows that by throwing you a crumb, you will turn it into an entire loaf! His actions demonstrate that he's nothing more than a CAKE MAN! Honey, you're too good for just crumbs! Don't let this jerk get to you because you know that you deserve way more then what he HAS given you, DOES give you and could EVER give you!

His goal is to keep you thinking about him, responding to him all in an effort to keep you in his pathetic web. Let go of the memories and with them, you'll let go of the pain. Take care of you and let MM think whatever he wants because in the end, you'll realize he never did/will have the balls to do what it takes and he'll still be with his wife.

Please stop wasting your time or giving him an ounce of credibility because he's so NOT worth it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 3:08pm
Everyone thank you for thinking of me I really needed that. Let me clarify I think I confused some people. I did not respond to his e-mail yesterday. I had sent the original e-mial on Nov 23rd. The last time I called his cell was the night of nov 27th. So I am on at least day8 of NC. Not wanting to count yet not sure if I am strong enough tomake it last. But darn it I am taking my baby steps. I just read the e-mail three time and posted here instead of e-mailing back. Oh and I also had a great friend go online and we chatted for a while and she helped me get my mind off of it and put somethings in perspecting. Big hugs to all.

Have a great weekend all

Cali~

Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 4:58pm
Katja,,

none of my beeswax but what kind of answers did you get that you needed to know?

you know, if there is a baby invovled and he is going to be involved in the baby's life then maybe total NC will never be your situation, which is fine.....you have to do what is best for the baby....just dont' get your emotions in a tizzy after you speak to him.

I'm proud of you.

Jazzdiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 6:03pm
We clarified the details of doing a paternity test. Which I wanted. I wanted that because, I don't want his wife to think I'm lying, I hope that she will be able to accept the child. She will also be a part of the childs life, of course. I know if I was her, I'd want some proof.

I wanted him to tell me how he thought he could be a part of the babies life. He said I will be a big part of this childs life.. But, I really didn't know how. We live very far apart. So that is a little clearer.

I know I shouldn't get in a Tizzy... it's just I feel like I'm getting really close to the end.. and I want to be totally clear about what I need to do.

Katja

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