What freaking timing!
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| Thu, 12-04-2003 - 11:16pm |
Ok so I get home check my computer and ugh! e-mail from XMM. Ok he didn't do it own his own but responded to an e-mail I sent like a week and a half ago when I was having a bad day. I just sent an e-mail and asked Do you love me? that was it. He hasn't talked to me in all this time why respond now? He responded by saying well it doesn't matter anymore but a better question would have been how much do I love you. He also said this is the worstt think he has had to do. Then said No need to respond. Hello slap me in the face. I know I e-mailed him keep in mind a while ago but damn why did he respond. Now that just made me remember that their anniversary is in two days.
I don't know how to feel right now and if I am going to start crying. I read the e-mail three times. All I am saying is why didn't he just keep ignoring me?
Please keep me in you thoughts the next few days could be rough.
Cali~

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Jazzdiva
Alright, you've read it three times, now put the email out of your mind. If you can't delete it (believe me, I know how hard it is to delete old messages from HIM), put it into a separate folder so at least it's not staring at you in the face whenever you go to your inbox.
hugs to you
How many times I have heard the "it doesn't matter" line.....
Hang in there...
CONFESSION TIME: I had a slip this Monday.. I called XMM at work.. to ask him something about an e-mail I sent a month ago about the baby... He was trying to be all friendly...like we were friends.. He said he was away and couldn't e-mail me back.. I kept the call breif and let him know what I wanted. 2 mins total... SO after that.. I was pissed that he was trying to be friendly with me when he had ignored my e-mail for a month so I sent him a really nasty e-mail about what a jerk /liar he was... It made me feel good even if it was wrong. Well last night I finally got the promised e-mail reply to the e-mail I sent him a month ago and it was long overdue answers I had been waiting for. And even an apology for not responding sooner..SO I'm feeling pretty good today,,, Pretty resolved and settled..
BACK TO YOU: If you like this guy...go for it... Could be fun.. get some free dinner and movies..Lord knows he probably won't be the one but, as my mother always says if he's not the one, he may be the one who introduces you to the one... In other words..If you don't at least get out there...you'll never meet anybody...
BE GOOD!!! FORGIVE yourself...I fell off the wagon too... I was just too embarassed to admit it.. but it's true... so we reset the NC clock today... big dumb deal..
Love, KATJA
These MM certainly love it when we stroke their little egos don't they!
Honey, as to MM, here is a thought to ponder...you're a GREAT lady and he knows that by throwing you a crumb, you will turn it into an entire loaf! His actions demonstrate that he's nothing more than a CAKE MAN! Honey, you're too good for just crumbs! Don't let this jerk get to you because you know that you deserve way more then what he HAS given you, DOES give you and could EVER give you!
His goal is to keep you thinking about him, responding to him all in an effort to keep you in his pathetic web. Let go of the memories and with them, you'll let go of the pain. Take care of you and let MM think whatever he wants because in the end, you'll realize he never did/will have the balls to do what it takes and he'll still be with his wife.
Please stop wasting your time or giving him an ounce of credibility because he's so NOT worth it!
Have a great weekend all
Cali~
none of my beeswax but what kind of answers did you get that you needed to know?
you know, if there is a baby invovled and he is going to be involved in the baby's life then maybe total NC will never be your situation, which is fine.....you have to do what is best for the baby....just dont' get your emotions in a tizzy after you speak to him.
I'm proud of you.
Jazzdiva
I wanted him to tell me how he thought he could be a part of the babies life. He said I will be a big part of this childs life.. But, I really didn't know how. We live very far apart. So that is a little clearer.
I know I shouldn't get in a Tizzy... it's just I feel like I'm getting really close to the end.. and I want to be totally clear about what I need to do.
Katja
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