What is the hardest to let go? And......
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What is the hardest to let go? And......
| Wed, 03-10-2010 - 8:58pm |
....what is the easiest?
I have found that for me it was not as hard to adjust to the fact that I can't contact or see him at the drop of the hat like I used to. I could also let go of the 100s of emails, IMs I used to get from him on a daily basis. In fact after 2 and half months of A ending, I am getting used to that. The part I still can't come to terms with is when I see him

The hardest part is to let go of that dream of true love (I know, I know:) My x was someone I felt so connected to, he was everything I ever wanted in a man on every level - emotional, physical, everything felt so right.
The easiest part, funny enough, is maintaining NC. Out of pride - if he doesn't want to be with me the right way, I don't want to be with him at all.
XOXO
Gone
Good questions.
For me, it was easy to let go of the constant interaction- as said above, mostly out of pride- that I won't allow myself to be the weak one anymore. The hardest thing, also as said above, is letting go of that fantasy- that he will come swooping in on the white horse and whisk me off to happyville. I know all of the reasons that this will not happen. And I now know that xap pales in comparison to my DH, but I still find myself romanticizing the "life" we would have had. If we weren't married to our spouses, if we had met at another time... how would things have turned out? Yuck, I know. And slightly pathetic, but I am a hopeless romantic and I find these thoughts hardest to let go of.
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Hello all,
I am over the fantasy stuff, I had a good friend put his child support and W and his huge debt knock me out of that fantasy. I am further out than you all, so I think. So I am hoping you work thru that too.
My friend laid it out for me, she said BEST case scenario, what would you have? And when she finalized it all out and laid it out for me, the picture was as ugly as one could get...this was my MM, not saying he was like yours. MM was so SO selfish, he just took and took and took. Was I ever going to be happy about/with that? Everything was all about him and him only. I would have to deal with his 4 kids, 2 different moms, his debt, his lying cheating sick self and a brand new B myself, while he is running the streets searching for another victim. I would be miserable....
And yes, I thought we were soul mates...my equal, my partner that i was meant to be with too...all that i thought too.
Now to what I can not let go. I got bamboozled, I got hoodwinked. I got played. He got over on me! Maybe its my ego...But that man lied so well and naturally that I actually believe he believes his own lies!! I am a bright women, strong too, already been thru some major life events and I pulled thru em. I had confidence. I felt beautiful and sassy. I was content with myself and life. And here this lying being comes along and knocks me out with a one two punch in the first round...with 60 seconds left. He knocked me on my behind effortlessly.....I got played so hard. He lied about being M. AND I BELIEVED all his crap. From the lies about him professionally to the lies about him personally. This man had a baby right under my nose....and I missed that. Had no clue. I am no spring chicken and I am smart as hell. Yep, I am complementing myself. I have to do that these days. Point is, I am no dummy, and he played me, HARD!!
Guess its my ego, I do not know, and I am slowly letting it go. But I can not stand the fact, that I got played and wound up in the biggest most damaging thing of my life. So let me go on with another day and work thru the fact, the even the strongest and best of us...FALL, fall hard.
But...now you know there was going to be a but....but I am getting him and I am not going to let him or anyone else stop me.
Good day to all
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
The easy part was actually ending it all. What a relief. I rediscovered my real life and found that to be so much more rewarding than living in a destructive fantasyland.
The hardest part is working through the garbage that presents itself as you face why you allowed yourself to do this in the first place. I still have residual anger that I fell for it all. I still have guilt for what I did and I shudder when I think of the chaos I could have created had there been a discovery. It is tough to face the real reasons why we did this and then own it. I can blame and slam xAP all day and all