What has helped me: humor helps
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|Tue, 08-14-2012 - 1:10am|
I read this article in readers digest: When the going gets tough, the tough crack wise by Judith Newman. Here is just a little of what it said:
Arnie Cann is a professor of psychology at the University of North Carolina, Charlotte, who studies the role of humor in stress- specifically, how humor helps us cope. Self-enhancing humor- the ability to crack wise and see the humor in a situation when your world is falling apart or your boss proves you right and acts like a jerk- protects us from stressful events. John McKay, the former coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, is an example. Suffering through a woeful first season, McKay was asked about the execution of his team. He responded, "I'm in favor of it." "The subjects who could look at the funny side of something grim really did seem to buffer themselves from anxiety," concludes Cann. Indeed, McKay is now a football icon. I couldn't help thinking about Cann the other day when a married friend came to me and confessed she'd been having an affair. By then, her marriage was in ruins, she felt humiliated, and she had no idea how she'd go on with her life. But I knew she would be okay when, after an hour of sobbing, she said, "Well, I lost the man I love. But on the bright side, I could start a whole new career as a hotel consultant."
I have a particular friend who is always making me laugh. I was talking to her about my situation. I'm hispanic, my husband is black, and my xAP is black (or to be PC, African American). So when I told her the DNA test came back and that the baby belongs to my xAP she said "Well, at least their both black." And I said "Yeah, if I had an A with a white guy it would have been hard to explain a blond hair blue eyed baby." And we both started laughing. I know it's not really funny, but sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.