What is he feeling...
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| Wed, 06-15-2005 - 11:14pm |
I know this is a dumb question, but I am curious as to the feedback others can give me here, I have had NC now for over 3 weeks. Sometimes I feel good, other times I am completely devestated and think I might have made the biggest mistake in the whole world, but I am dealing with it. After several attempts at breaking it off and him coming back, he has stayed away. well almost...I have caved on occasion and emailed him and beeped him a time or two ....no response it made me happy and sad at the same time...I keep thinking I can get through this....I even went on a date with a single man but found MM still possesses my heart, for how long I have no idea, but I am healing.
My question is ....does this hurt him as much as it does me? I am a single OW(or I was an OW~not anymore) he has someone to go home to, his wife. Now I have seen him drive by where I work and he makes sure I see him. He is not supposed to be there, why is he doing this to me? Is he worried that there is someone else? I don't understand it...does he feel the same emptiness I do? Does it hurt so bad at times that he cannot resist just seeing me? What does the MM feel once he has been dumped, does it bruise their ego, are they sad, is he having a hard time letting it go also?
I cant eat or sleep, and I feel as if I lost an arm or a leg, a piece of me is missing....does the MM expreience this kind of saddness? I left when emotions where at a peak it was hot and heavy, promises made ....can he feel the same pain I do...
Any input is welcome, and yes I already know I shouldnt care what he is feeling.....but I do.
Imagine
A part of me cannot let go of the fact that the last time we were together I asked him point blank if he was going to leave his wife. His reply was " yes, but not for you, I need to leave for me "....I want to believe this more than anything, and I know he is not happy at home, just comfortable. Can anyone relate to what I am feeling at all?

I am also the single OW, and I feel the same thing.
To be honest, some days I would talk to my MM, and I would swear he felt the same pain as me. But does it really even matter? He is not feeling enough pain to step up, to do the right thing in either situation.
As for the pain, he's feeling, try to stop worry because worrying about what he is thinking or feeling only brings more heartache and can lead to an compulsive wondering (like me). Not a day goes by that I dont wonder what MM is feeling or doing, if he is even thinking of me.
Honestly, there is no way he could be as emotionally torn as me, his life with his family would be effected. I guess it just depends on the circumstances, the feeling, but when I go down to the cored and I am forced to look at it, i don't see anyway he could go through waht I go through on a daily basis and maintain face.
I hope that helps. I wish you luck. Be strong.