What I would say to xAP
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|Wed, 11-21-2012 - 10:36am|
I'm not going to break NC, so I thought if I wrote here what I would say to him it might help.
I said I was done and I meant it. Nothing you say or do will change my mind this time. Mock me all you want for saying I was done before and always falling back into this with you. I am not weak and I will prove to myself that I can walk away from this. All the hurtful words are actually helping me now as they only remind me what kind of man you really are.
You made it very clear over the almost 14 years where I fit into your life. I'm able to see more clearly now that it was all there for me and I just didn't want to believe it. Other people warned me what kind of a man you were and you insisted they were wrong. And then you demanded that they be out of my life. I saw flashes of what you really were and those were the times that I tried to end it. But you always talked your way back in. Not this time. I'm worth so much more than that.
When you were in trouble, I was the one who had your back. I stood up for you, even when I knew deep down that what they said you did was probably true. I put myself and my family in jeopardy to save you. And you were never even grateful. You just asked for more of my time and energy.
You've disrepected me and what I've asked for. No contact means just that. No phone calls, no texts, no IM's.... nothing. Let me get on with my life and repair whatever damage I many have done to the relationships I treasure the most.
You lied to me and deceived me for the last time. I was the best thing to come into your messed up life and you ruined it. This never should have happened and now I just want to forget it all.