What I would say to xAP

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2012
What I would say to xAP
2
Wed, 11-21-2012 - 10:36am

 

I'm not going to break NC, so I thought if I wrote here what I would say to him it might help.

I said I was done and I meant it.  Nothing you say or do will change my mind this time.  Mock me all you want for saying I was done before and always falling back into this with you.  I am not weak and I will prove to myself that I can walk away from this. All the hurtful words are actually helping me now as they only remind me what kind of man you really are.

You made it very clear over the almost 14 years where I fit into your life.  I'm able to see more clearly now that it was all there for me and I just didn't want to believe it.  Other people warned me what kind of a man you were and you insisted they were wrong.  And then you demanded that they be out of my life.  I saw flashes of what you really were and those were the times that I tried to end it.  But you always talked your way back in. Not this time. I'm worth so much more than that.

When you were in trouble, I was the one who had your back.  I stood up for you, even when I knew deep down that what they said you did was probably true.  I put myself and my family in jeopardy to save you.  And you were never even grateful.  You just asked for more of my time and energy. 

You've disrepected me and what I've asked for.  No contact means just that. No phone calls, no texts, no IM's.... nothing.  Let me get on with my life and repair whatever damage I many have done to the relationships I treasure the most.

You lied to me and deceived me for the last time.  I was the best thing to come into your messed up life and you ruined it.  This never should have happened and now I just want to forget it all.  

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Sun, 11-25-2012 - 1:56pm

I'm just reading the suggestion to do it.  I hope you did not.

Breaking NC to have the last word is not a good idea.  It's also just another ego boost for him and teaches him that he can still engage you...even this long out.  And then, you'll never rid yourself of him.

You put it here to get it out...leave it here.  I'm sure you did not break NC.

Stay the course.

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader...EAS


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Sat, 11-24-2012 - 11:48pm

Hi Blondehigh , if you think it will make you feel better you should do it. I did just that about a yr ago I sent him a letter telling him what a liar he was and to stay away from me, I also told him congrats on reaching prick status he had officially earned it and that he didnt deserve me. It felt good to send it, liberating.. but I wasn't liberated from him he told me he couldnt live with me hating him but yet he told me didnt read it..which was a mind fuck in other words he read it..he just didnt want his precious pride hurt. It still hurts me... He told me I was in his top five LMAO how pathetic and he is 54 and I am 30. He still tells me he misses me but he is just player and has been married 4 times can you say LOSER? Anyways you should do it and express how you feel. Good luck you and be strong. I know it is hard but stand your ground! I am trying to be strong to for I have to see him everyday he lives in the same building and see his parade of women! :(