What If, I .....
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What If, I .....
| Thu, 07-22-2004 - 11:40pm |
Hi everyone! How's everybody doing?
Well, as for me, my days have been a constant struggle. I'm not sure if all of you knows my story but had a long A and had an a--hole xMM too. Anyway, Im the 2nd A of xMM. And I would say, he's pretty good this time at controlling the situation and ME.
Actually, there are times, im really moving on well but there are times, a simply msg from him would turn my days and weeks hell. And so, when these times happens, i just like to get back at him. I know it's wrong but what if I just tell his wife about us??? Well, the hardest part i have to deal with is the fact that he got away again. And I just cant believe that my life got pretty f_ck_d up and he is all well. It's just not fair!!!
Oh well....
Sweetiee

I'm going to tell you something you may not want to hear, but until you realize this, you will not be able to forgive him or yourself. Us women....well, we set ourselves up for this fall. WE allowed it to happen, WE knew they were married, WE conveniently overlooked the simple fact that he belongs to someone else, WE were the intruders. Men are simple, egotistic sexual predators that will take *IT* from any woman who is willing to give it. Sure, they may start it all with, "You are what's missing in my life, you are so special, you understand me, you are so beautiful", yadi yadi yadi. And WE soak it all up like a dried bread, and start believing all of his words because we are lonely, or insecure, or unhappy in our marriages, or just down right needy and want something different. BUT, none of these things are healthy reasons to let another woman's husband touch us. It's wrong, it's immoral, and no matter how good the immediate gratification is (that EM, that IM, that touch, that look, THAT SEX), it is all wasted five minutes later when the MM has gotten what he wants..... until the next time. We buy into all of this garbage and then WE wonder why we are the ones who suffer so....
<<<>>
My XMM's life will go on the same too. His wife is still clueless of his escades because *I* was the one who was so careful in protecting the jerk. I just knew that if we were ever exposed, he would deny everything and I would be the one holding the bag of do-do.
I finally got smart, and planned my emotional escape. And now I am FREE of that twisted hold this man had on me....MY answers came through deep introspection until I finally realized that I am the one who caused all of this to happen. NO ONE made me do it!!!
Just always keep in mind that what goes around comes around. He is not going to get away with this and you will NOT have to do a thing. Everything in it's own time...he will make a mistake and he will pay.
Take care of yourself,
True
As hard as it may be to hear, you need to cut yourself off from him completely, that means no calls, no e-mails, no text messages. If you must see him (i.e. if you work together) make it brief and professional. You may even want to consider a change in job if possible. I don't have to see XOM if I don't want to, except for maybe 3 times a year when there are district-wide functions (we teach in the same district, but in different schools).
I suggest that you start with complete NC as soon as you can. It will hurt at first, but you will start gaining strength. Read some of the other posts and you will see that the strength will come.
I wish you all the best!
((hugs))
Circe
Hon you listen to the other two ladies that have posted to you they know what there talking about.
Let XMM sink himself he will in time count on it, and in some way or other you will here about it, there is justice it just takes time.
Go total NO CONTACT if possible right now, begin to heal you and don't concern yourself one more moment about that serial cheater.
Free
Thanks so much for reminding me those facts. Honestly, i can never do such things like that. First, ive done some damage already and by doing something else, is another damage whih i'll have to pay someday. Sometimes, when i feel crazy, i think about those but in reality, i cant.
Anyway, thanks for your advices. I really do appreciate it.
Sweetie