What is the lesson?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2009
What is the lesson?
4
Sun, 01-17-2010 - 4:52pm

Hi everyone,


I have been trying to figure out the answer to this question for years now (since the first time he really hurt me) but not making much headway so I thought I'd toss it out to all of you.


I believe that when people enter your life, they are there for a reason. You are supposed to either learn something from them or teach them something or maybe both. I don't believe in coincidence.


Soooooo, here's the question...if that's the case, what do you think we were supposed to learn from this painful experience? Why were these men in our lives? I feel like the only things I've learned are counterproductive, like how to be insecure and clingy which I NEVER was before. Not to mention losing five years of my life with all this craziness that got me absolutely nowhere.


I know you'll think this is crazy, but the minute I met my xAP, I felt drawn to him on a very deep level. It wasn't physical at first, for me (it was for him). That's why I've always had a hard time letting go...it just felt like he was supposed to be in my life for some reason on some level. It wasn't an A fog at that point but I don't understand why I was so drawn to him. In fact, at first, my idea of having him in my life was more him and his wife being friends with me and my H...THAT's how NOT attracted to him I was at first!! I felt like he was a long lost friend that I found again and I never wanted to lose him again, even though I'd never met him in my life. It was just weird and has always messed with my head but especially now that he hurt me so bad.


So, again, what do you think the lesson is/was supposed to be? What positives can we take away from such a mess? If you assume there is no such thing as coincidence, what was the point of all this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Sun, 01-17-2010 - 4:59pm
Our boundries are tested daily and we failed boundry-making 101..........just like the story of the garden of eden.
Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2010
Sun, 01-17-2010 - 5:02pm

My vote would be that it is an opportunity to learn more about yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sun, 01-17-2010 - 5:17pm

Chemistry 101 teaches us: (it's in the Healing Library under 'more').


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Sun, 01-17-2010 - 6:10pm

Hi UTBN,


Good thread.


To the question of your life you are the answer, and to the problems of your life you are the solution.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.