What Should I Do?
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| Mon, 05-31-2004 - 8:39pm |
Here's my problem. My husband and I are separated, after years and years of him being involved in numerous affairs.
Don't stop reading! There will be no preaching from me, I can assure you.
Here's the deal. For well over a year, he was involved with a woman --- who I hated but who is I'm sure a decent person --- and he made her believe she was the love of his life and that he would divorce me for her. NOW, we're separated --- she believes he left me for her, but the truth is that I said no more, and he's now involved with a NEW PERSON. His old affair sits at home, patiently waiting and buying his lines that he needs more time to settle everything down....I see her "online" patiently waiting for him to sign on and I know he's with the new one!
Here's the problem: Although I used to despise her, I now feel terrible for her. I keep wondering what other opportunities in life she's passing up waiting for him to come to her. And I've talked to him about it, and he says he's just waiting for the right time to dump her. And I now understand how unbelievably toxic he is --- getting dumped by him will be the best thing that ever happened to her, but she won't know it because he won't let on that he has moved on to some other poor dupe. He'll spin out some yarn about how it's best, etc., etc. He may even blame it all on me.
So what should I do? Should I send her an email and let her know? Should I wait till he dumps her and then send her an email saying I'd be happy to talk to her if it would help?
Strange as it sounds, I want her to know that she got worked over by a real master....and that it's not completely her fault.

"IF" you choose to contact this woman you had better make sure that you can present real unshakeable EVIDENCE of all that your saying or she is only going to think that your out to get even or get your husband back.
Good luck
Free
BUT you've convinced me that I really shouldn't do anything -- although that's hard because he's a master, really, and it's very, very unfair to her. At least I knew what I was doing and what I was "getting" when I chose to stay with him --- and I had issues like my children, family and our careers to consider. She has nothing but this fantasy love for a person who doesn't exist!
Oh well. I guess that's part of the deal that the OW gets: she just can't know where the real lie is. It just doesn't seem fair that the women always get screwed!!!