What "they" don't know.
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What "they" don't know.
| Sat, 03-06-2004 - 8:03am |
In conversations I had in the past with XMM, when it came down to me trying to get out to see him or us getting together, I would tell him I felt guilty, etc, and he would say "what your husband doesn't know, won't hurt him", or he would tell me the same thing concerning his wife. (He would tell me that the relationship he & his wife had was terrible and they live under the same roof for the sake of the youngest child, but live seperate lives). Maybe this relationship is so, for them, but that phrase bothers me.
I view it as - it's okay to do whatever, with whoever and don't worry about it and move on. Thinking of only himself and his needs. If he would say and feel that way towards his wife, then he would feel that way towards me too, had I decided to continue a relationship with him. Am I right?????
But you know...Affairs are based on lies, and cheating. I guess that phrase fits right into place with it all, doesn't it????
TCOM

I said this phrase all the time about my H and my A and I know I entered into my A for purely selfish reasons on my part, so maybe you're right. But I also say this phrase about all parts of my life. For instance, sometimes I would hear, oh guess what so and so said about you. Well, I prefer not to know, because I don't want to be upset and I don't want to dislike anyone. If I know they said something negative about me, it would just put one more thing to think about into my life. As I've gotten older, I've gotten a little lazy about wanting to deal with all the crap, kind of like, who cares. Life is too short for this bull. I don't think it is really a bad thing, just kind of my way of protecting myself as I've wanted to protect my H, and myself too with my A. Maybe your MM was protecting his wife from pain, and himself too.
"If he would say and feel that way towards his wife, then he would feel that way towards me too"
I did not feel this way towards my OM. I didn't want to use him and move on, although he did that to me. I was always very nice towards him. Not selfish at all.
I hope you understand what I'm trying to say, C
Have a good day!!! :)
TCOM