What was the beginning of your relationship with spouse like?

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
What was the beginning of your relationship with spouse like?
5
Mon, 08-13-2012 - 12:03am

For those married or in long term relationships, did you have that spark and infatuated feeling for your partner when you were first together?

 

I ask, because I didn't.  I had had it before, with previous boyfriends in my life, but not with my H.  We were friends, through a group of people for quite a while, and to be truthful (and I have never admitted this to ANYONE before) I think I was sick of looking for someone to spend my life with and was ready to get married, have kids etc.  Now, of course I thought he was a great person, but I never had that head over heels, WOW, can't wait to see him, feeling with him.  We were friends, started to go out and it went from there.

 

I just wonder if anyone else felt this, because I do think it plays a part in me having an A and wanting those feelings.

 

Dodgie xxx

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2012

I was shy as a kid, then my mom married an alcoholic which made for horrible teen years. Went to college and met a nice guy who fell for me and that was nice, I really wanted to escape my family and have a family of my own, so we dated  a year and got married. He was a nice guy, no big problems, but we didn't have much in common.

I thought of divorce many times during our marriage, but didn't because of the kids or finances. When I met xap, I had lost one job and started a new one that was good money. XAP was separated from his wife for a year, we started talking, had a lot in common. He made me laugh and feel good at a new job that was stressful and at times depressing. When I started thinking of him 24/7 and wanting to talk to him on the weekends (didn't at first) I realized I need to get out of this marriage. I could not be married to one man and falling for another. So I got a divorce. I don't regret the divorce, I still believe it was the right thing. But it's been hard. My xh is finally talking to me (about kids, who are grown) he was very angry at first.

I think the thing that bothers me most is that if I would have walked from the marriage without xap I would have been ok. But instead I had this head over heels crazy love relationship that didn't make it and that's the biggest loss I feel. I really miss his friendship, we could talk for hours about anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2012

that was xap and I could talk for hours,,,, my H would NEVER talk to me, he would talk to other people, but not me. Made me crazy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
I had it with my h big tine but during my pregnancies we hardly made love it was very uncomfortable for me after the first baby we bounced back xap showed up when number 2 was an infant, at first I still had it forh but I'm a one emotional attachment kind of girl and I lost it, not so sure I'm ever going to find it.