What was the most ridiculous thing you did .....

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Registered: 12-31-1969
What was the most ridiculous thing you did .....
Sat, 08-11-2012 - 10:51am

Hi everyone!

Well you've got my friend Sunny to thank for this one, but I do love a good chat :smileyhappy:


I have so many crazy memories of ridiculous things I did during my A, some sad, some painful, some cringeworthy, so many regrets, so many things I wished I hadn't done. One of the biggest ones is the fact that I was an unpaid prostitute for xAP, in fact I was more than that, I even provided complimentary food and wine! :smileymad:Anyway, xAP was always talking about his fantasies with me,there were all sorts of things he had wanted to try and things he wanted to do before he died, any time I mentioned going for lunch with a girlfriend he would talk about us having a threesome, he was obsessed with it ... woa hold on ladies, I never did it, in fact I dumped him when I suggested it once too often and he never mentioned it again.

One of his fantasies I did go along with though and I am cringing as I type this was to dress up as a naughty school girl. I asked him to wait in the bedroom for me and I would see what I could rustle up. Well, I don't even own a white shirt so I had to wear one of oldest son's school shirts (with his name sown in it:smileyembarrassed:), a black work skirt rolled over at the waist about twenty times making me look 6 months pregnant, white football socks, oldest son's school tie, I put my hair in bunches and used a brown eyeliner to draw freckles on my nose, now bear in mind ladies that I am a middle aged woman with a significant amount of wrinkles, skin slackening and cellulite ..... you can picture the scene.  I found a lollipop in the cupboard and I sultrily waltzed into the bedroom to surprise xAP .... well the look of shock and horror on xAP's was a complete passion killer, xAP he looked like he was about to vomit all over the bed! Yes, not one of my finest moments:smileyhappy:


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2007
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 4:19pm

I walked my cousin's dog to death stalking my XAP.

I was watching my cousin's dog during the winter  5 years ago while they were away on a sabbatical in Europe. They told me the dog was 10 and in good health. Since I was in the stalking stage of my relationship with XAP, I would walk that poor dog constantly. We would walk by his house and be outside when he went to work so he would stop and talk to me. I walked in the afternoon when he got home from work, dragging that poor dog again. That dog was even in the back seat of his truck when he would pick me up sometimes to go make out in a near by park. I must have walked that dog 2-3 miles 7 days a week until she finally "gave up the ghost" two months after I was entrusted with her.

I still feel horrible. By the way the dog turned out to be 14 instead of 10. I got another dog, a puppy, and we walked constantly too until I finally moved away the following November. I had the puppy trained to poop in his yard when I was mad at him.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sun, 08-26-2012 - 12:42pm

I can relate to that.  Generally, we could talk for hours, but I wrote things down to refer to just in case there were any breaks in the conversation...oy

Edited Just in case Just in case! not such in case...oy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2012
Sun, 08-26-2012 - 11:59am

Had a random thought about this thread yesterday and wanted to add/ask this one...

Did you ever pre-think or 'rehearse' what you would say to xap?  Ick.  I did that often.  Believe it or not, I am an introvert - although if you saw how aggressive my alter-ego was when pursuing xap you probably wouldn't believe it.  Anyway, spontaneous quick-wit or conversation is definitely not my strong point.  So I would spend lots of time figuring out what I was going to say to him.  Mostly shocking, sexual comments because I craved his reactions and how it kept him 'longing' after me.  Once, I told my best friend one of the comments I had said to xap...we went off into peals of uncontrollable laughter because of how STUPID it sounded! 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2009
Thu, 08-16-2012 - 7:34am

I Love this.....

Ok here we go - this is the  first time I have confessed how truly pathetic and out of control I was.

I cyber stalked the hell out of my xAP. I cyber stalked his work calendar, and even went years back to find out his every move. Found out his girl friends name through his calendar and cyber stalked the hell out his girlfriend too. I was totally obsessed by finding a picture of her to find out if I was better looking - how pathetic. I never found a picture of her, but I found out where she worked and what she did for a living and what sports she did.

I created a fake account on facebook to stalk them there as well - he had a profile, but it was private. So I stalked everyone at my work, who might know him, and see if my xAP ever left a comment on their profile. How pathetic.

I put his name into google every day just to see if something had changed. I entered his hobbies into google to see if he ever wrote I forums. Found nothing.

I checked his calendar at work every 10 mins (I mean it) to see where is was, what meeting he was going to, and what he was doing all the time.

Even on my drive home from work, I was constantly checking for his car, his number plate, everywhere.

I started smoking again, just so I could accidentally bump into him outside the building. I took walks to no where around the office just so he would accidentally bump into me - and see me in my cute little skirt and top. I changed my working hours so we arrived and left at the same time.

I checked his MSN status all the time - I set myself to offline and just checked if he was Available, away or offline constantly throughout the weekend. I didn't go online on weekends, but I was more online that he ever was!!!! During the week I would casually become Available exactly 10mins after he went online... duh.... I'm m pretty sure he could figure out I was showing as offline after the 2nd time ;-)

Oh god - pathetic X 1000000000000.... I'm so ashamed - but I can see I have saved myself an awful lot of time by stopping the stalking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God that was time consuming!

And even though still can access his calendar at work whenever I want - I have not. And while I could cyber stalk the hell out of him daily, I don't - this has been the most wonderful present NC has given me - by the end of my A, I was seriously looking over my shoulder ,expecting the men in white coats to put me in a straight jacket and cart me off to the funny farm- I was completely off the rails.


Every recovery is a kind of rebirth
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006

I would get on a ladder in my garage to watch him drive up, run in the house for a last minute primp.  I'd be waiting in my lace panties (who the eff spends big $ on underwear that rips so easily?). 

And my favorite........mowing the lawn with my cell tucked into my bikini top so I wouldn't miss a call from him.  On vibrate.  My tan lines were strange. 

Onward and upward.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2012
Wed, 08-15-2012 - 10:30pm
I was going to add mine but they're all cringemaking. I can only shake my head, bury my face in my hands and groan:

Xap loved to have me come out with no underwear on. On one occasion, we went to a restaurant and took a window booth. His hands wandered while we ate and, not being able to stifle my reaction, we got caught...with his hand up my skirt! It was the bartender who caught us. We were seated nowhere near the bar so she had had to come across the restaurant. So I doubt we were being as discreet as I'd fooled myself into thinking. Then we went back to my hotel where I was staying with my family. Xap kissed me so passionately in the elevator I had to stop him. We got caught on the security camera, or at least that's what my guilty conscience believes because the hotel desk clerk kept giving me pointed looks for the rest of my stay.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2012
Tue, 08-14-2012 - 12:01pm
OMG!! Clarity!!! Only just read this. You are a real tonic! Still laughing here.... Knew you were a good spud from day one, I too HATE cooking, i just dont get it, never have, never will! And lasagna!!! Wow you had it bad for that one.... I think attempting to cook that was nearly as crazy as pushing in his door... :smileyhappy:

You go girl lol!

Sunny Soon Xxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Mon, 08-13-2012 - 11:43pm

I just love these kinds of threads.  Putting it out here, sharing our mania.  More so than the 'why'...it leaves us trying to figure out the big WHAT...as in "WHAT was I thinking. " 

I mentioned in my first post that I would dole out some of my mania.  Didn't want to overwhelm you all with my ridiculousness.  

And I know in a previous post, I mentioned a splinted doorframe.  Let me tell you the whole story.  It's funny now.  Back then, it was funny...in not so haha a way.

Okay, first of all, if you know me, you know I don't cook because I don't like to cook.  A am the burn-the-toast, and boil-the-water-out-of-the-pan-'til-it's-ruined kinda gal...a real menace in kitchen, and the only help MH wants from me in regards to helping him prepare dinner is to stay out of the kitchen...can do!  And I only preface my story with this because it was big...really big for me to attempt dinner...never mind a huge project such as lasagna.

So, and we are talking about 10 years ago, while seeing JAM, I invited him for dinner and on the menu was lasagna.  My very best friend, who has since passed away, was at my house helping me.  She was a great cook.  And she had not yet met JAM, but had probably driven by his house 1,001 times with me...can you say stalker?

Dinner is prepared, JAM arrives, my friend hangs with us for a while to meet him and to chat.  In the middle of her chat, she asks if he lives around here.  I almost wet my pants and actually had to go to the bathroom to laugh my ass off.  Do you live around here...OMG.  

Dinner is great...the night is great.  He does not stay the night, but that was not unusual.  Next morning, I drive by his house to the way to somewhere...and it wasn't a stalker drive-by...he just happens to live on the main road to everywhere in our town.  And what do I see on his porch.  HER DOG!!!  Now, my runaway brain conjures up the scenario that he left my house and went to see her...with a full belly...of MY lasagna...that I had so lovely prepared.  In actuality, she had dropped her dogs off at his house and left for vacation, but I didn't learn that 'til later.  She lived about 20 miles away and often left her dogs at his house.

Okay, so now I am soooooooo angry, I am a raving lune.  I drive to his house (it's right down the street)...so full anger that the dog on his porch, as I am climbing the stairs, starts to whimper.  He comes to the door, I start to cut him a new one, and he slams the door in my face.  S E E T H I N G  N O W!

I drive back home, call my girlfriend...I am pacing...beside myself and I want to go back.  She tells me to wait, not to do anything, she's on her way.  She doesn't make to my house fast enough and not in time.

Because by the time she arrives, I have already been to his house where he will not answer the door, and have I kicked in his door. I'm 5'4".  The lock breaks,the entire frame shatters and it swings open.  The only thing that could have made it REALLY funny is if it fell open top to floor (like in the cartoons)..."here's Johnny!"  He's on the other side of the livingroom, kneeling down, holding the dog...they are both whimpering now.  He walks over and starts yelling, takes me by the shirt , turns and yells, "See what you did!"

I immediately feel bad...real bad...what have I done...the rage is gone and now I'm in trouble.  I went home.  And my friend didn't call me the next day because she was afraid I would ask her what she made for dinner, because that would mean she would have to say the L-word.

If you can believe it, that still was not the end for us.  We managed to get by that and carry on for another year.  And to this day, when you drive by his house, if it is not summertime because the growth is so thick, you can't even see the pathway to the door, the porch or the door because he has recreated the landscape of Vietnam (He's a Vietnam Vet), you can see the door ajar.  

Yet another ridiculous thing I did.  Stay tuned...more to come as I think back.



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2011
Mon, 08-13-2012 - 10:03pm
I cyberstalked to the extreme and I actually did run a paid background check!! I had a friend at the time who was a major supporter of my A and technically she is the one who ran it, then emailed it to me. Now I had his home address so I promptly Google mapped his house. Checked everyday to see if the street view had changed. When he finally invited me over I played dumb llike I had no idea where he lived.
This friend also went to hIm as a patient just to stalk him for me when we went NC once and tell me how he looked, report on his mood, if he was acting depressed etc lol...Omg! She was so into this and majorly contributed to my crazy by being so 'supportive.'. We are no longer friends!

Once i knew where he lived, i googled his address and part of town so much that i discovered a neighborhood message board on which he'd posted, made up a screenname and joined just to write to him through the board and see if he'd respond to a stranger. He did lol..i was such a loser!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2011
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 11:23am
How about my most desperate fishing attempt: AP was my Dr before he was my my AP. I had an old expired prescription from him. During our first NC attempt i called the pharmacy to refill it knowing it was expired and they'd contact the prescriber. They did, and later that day he emailed me to see if I was ok, he had received the script request, was it really for him etc..
Oh i am fine i said but hey I'll be in your neighborhood tonight...
We ended up seeing each other and restarting A.
Sometimes i had to get really creative to reel him back in, he was always trying to end...:/