What was the most ridiculous thing you did .....

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Registered: 12-31-1969
What was the most ridiculous thing you did .....
Sat, 08-11-2012 - 10:51am

Hi everyone!

Well you've got my friend Sunny to thank for this one, but I do love a good chat :smileyhappy:


I have so many crazy memories of ridiculous things I did during my A, some sad, some painful, some cringeworthy, so many regrets, so many things I wished I hadn't done. One of the biggest ones is the fact that I was an unpaid prostitute for xAP, in fact I was more than that, I even provided complimentary food and wine! :smileymad:Anyway, xAP was always talking about his fantasies with me,there were all sorts of things he had wanted to try and things he wanted to do before he died, any time I mentioned going for lunch with a girlfriend he would talk about us having a threesome, he was obsessed with it ... woa hold on ladies, I never did it, in fact I dumped him when I suggested it once too often and he never mentioned it again.

One of his fantasies I did go along with though and I am cringing as I type this was to dress up as a naughty school girl. I asked him to wait in the bedroom for me and I would see what I could rustle up. Well, I don't even own a white shirt so I had to wear one of oldest son's school shirts (with his name sown in it:smileyembarrassed:), a black work skirt rolled over at the waist about twenty times making me look 6 months pregnant, white football socks, oldest son's school tie, I put my hair in bunches and used a brown eyeliner to draw freckles on my nose, now bear in mind ladies that I am a middle aged woman with a significant amount of wrinkles, skin slackening and cellulite ..... you can picture the scene.  I found a lollipop in the cupboard and I sultrily waltzed into the bedroom to surprise xAP .... well the look of shock and horror on xAP's was a complete passion killer, xAP he looked like he was about to vomit all over the bed! Yes, not one of my finest moments:smileyhappy:


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2012
Wed, 08-15-2012 - 10:30pm
I was going to add mine but they're all cringemaking. I can only shake my head, bury my face in my hands and groan:

Xap loved to have me come out with no underwear on. On one occasion, we went to a restaurant and took a window booth. His hands wandered while we ate and, not being able to stifle my reaction, we got caught...with his hand up my skirt! It was the bartender who caught us. We were seated nowhere near the bar so she had had to come across the restaurant. So I doubt we were being as discreet as I'd fooled myself into thinking. Then we went back to my hotel where I was staying with my family. Xap kissed me so passionately in the elevator I had to stop him. We got caught on the security camera, or at least that's what my guilty conscience believes because the hotel desk clerk kept giving me pointed looks for the rest of my stay.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006

I would get on a ladder in my garage to watch him drive up, run in the house for a last minute primp.  I'd be waiting in my lace panties (who the eff spends big $ on underwear that rips so easily?). 

And my favorite........mowing the lawn with my cell tucked into my bikini top so I wouldn't miss a call from him.  On vibrate.  My tan lines were strange. 

Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2009
Thu, 08-16-2012 - 7:34am

I Love this.....

Ok here we go - this is the  first time I have confessed how truly pathetic and out of control I was.

I cyber stalked the hell out of my xAP. I cyber stalked his work calendar, and even went years back to find out his every move. Found out his girl friends name through his calendar and cyber stalked the hell out his girlfriend too. I was totally obsessed by finding a picture of her to find out if I was better looking - how pathetic. I never found a picture of her, but I found out where she worked and what she did for a living and what sports she did.

I created a fake account on facebook to stalk them there as well - he had a profile, but it was private. So I stalked everyone at my work, who might know him, and see if my xAP ever left a comment on their profile. How pathetic.

I put his name into google every day just to see if something had changed. I entered his hobbies into google to see if he ever wrote I forums. Found nothing.

I checked his calendar at work every 10 mins (I mean it) to see where is was, what meeting he was going to, and what he was doing all the time.

Even on my drive home from work, I was constantly checking for his car, his number plate, everywhere.

I started smoking again, just so I could accidentally bump into him outside the building. I took walks to no where around the office just so he would accidentally bump into me - and see me in my cute little skirt and top. I changed my working hours so we arrived and left at the same time.

I checked his MSN status all the time - I set myself to offline and just checked if he was Available, away or offline constantly throughout the weekend. I didn't go online on weekends, but I was more online that he ever was!!!! During the week I would casually become Available exactly 10mins after he went online... duh.... I'm m pretty sure he could figure out I was showing as offline after the 2nd time ;-)

Oh god - pathetic X 1000000000000.... I'm so ashamed - but I can see I have saved myself an awful lot of time by stopping the stalking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God that was time consuming!

And even though still can access his calendar at work whenever I want - I have not. And while I could cyber stalk the hell out of him daily, I don't - this has been the most wonderful present NC has given me - by the end of my A, I was seriously looking over my shoulder ,expecting the men in white coats to put me in a straight jacket and cart me off to the funny farm- I was completely off the rails.


Every recovery is a kind of rebirth
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2012
Sun, 08-26-2012 - 11:59am

Had a random thought about this thread yesterday and wanted to add/ask this one...

Did you ever pre-think or 'rehearse' what you would say to xap?  Ick.  I did that often.  Believe it or not, I am an introvert - although if you saw how aggressive my alter-ego was when pursuing xap you probably wouldn't believe it.  Anyway, spontaneous quick-wit or conversation is definitely not my strong point.  So I would spend lots of time figuring out what I was going to say to him.  Mostly shocking, sexual comments because I craved his reactions and how it kept him 'longing' after me.  Once, I told my best friend one of the comments I had said to xap...we went off into peals of uncontrollable laughter because of how STUPID it sounded! 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sun, 08-26-2012 - 12:42pm

I can relate to that.  Generally, we could talk for hours, but I wrote things down to refer to just in case there were any breaks in the conversation...oy

Edited Just in case Just in case! not such in case...oy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2007
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 4:19pm

I walked my cousin's dog to death stalking my XAP.

I was watching my cousin's dog during the winter  5 years ago while they were away on a sabbatical in Europe. They told me the dog was 10 and in good health. Since I was in the stalking stage of my relationship with XAP, I would walk that poor dog constantly. We would walk by his house and be outside when he went to work so he would stop and talk to me. I walked in the afternoon when he got home from work, dragging that poor dog again. That dog was even in the back seat of his truck when he would pick me up sometimes to go make out in a near by park. I must have walked that dog 2-3 miles 7 days a week until she finally "gave up the ghost" two months after I was entrusted with her.

I still feel horrible. By the way the dog turned out to be 14 instead of 10. I got another dog, a puppy, and we walked constantly too until I finally moved away the following November. I had the puppy trained to poop in his yard when I was mad at him.