What we all have in common
Find a Conversation
What we all have in common
| Thu, 03-25-2004 - 2:58pm |
1) we must all have a tremendous capacity to love and be loved
2) we must all be interesting, funny, resourceful and fun (otherwise who would want us?)
3) we must all be reasonably attractive in order for XMM, MM, etc. to even risk their marriages and lives just to be near us
4) we must all have strong values and ethics otherwise we wouldn't be here trying to sort all of this out
5) we must all be smart, as we managed, somehow, to find this board
6) we must all be lovers, dreamers and romantics
7) we must all have had gaps and emptiness we felt we didn't deserve in our marriages
8) we must all be committed as we continue, day after day, to work thru one of the most exhilirating, challenging, lovely and difficult times in our lives.
2) we must all be interesting, funny, resourceful and fun (otherwise who would want us?)
3) we must all be reasonably attractive in order for XMM, MM, etc. to even risk their marriages and lives just to be near us
4) we must all have strong values and ethics otherwise we wouldn't be here trying to sort all of this out
5) we must all be smart, as we managed, somehow, to find this board
6) we must all be lovers, dreamers and romantics
7) we must all have had gaps and emptiness we felt we didn't deserve in our marriages
8) we must all be committed as we continue, day after day, to work thru one of the most exhilirating, challenging, lovely and difficult times in our lives.
I fantasize that someday we can all meet somewhere--mid country--like Kansas for a conference. Can you imagine what an amazing group of women we must be? Can you imagine that the talking and hugging and crying would never stop.
Thank you to all of you. You helped me thru this last summer and also this spring.
xoxo
Clarice

Pages
You are very right on.
I was just thinking this the other day.
What I have learned from the A was my ability to love, my capacity to want to love and how I had to allow myself to be loved in order to truly feel what love is.
These are powerful realizations.
Perhaps if we can continue to allow ourselves to learn from our experience and each other we can find the answers we so wish were readily available.
I appreciate this site more and more all the time and I, too, wish we could have a big EMA conference in some Secret Garden!
-L
We can sit around by the pool drinking Screaming Orgasms all day long. Oh, it would be so much fun. Everyone can point their fingers at us and say, "Look at those people, Dear...with their big 'A's on their chests and their Screaming Orgasms. Can you believe how disgusting they all are?"
It would be a laugh...
Bird
I have found my desire and want for this A to be healthy. It's been painful, yes, but living in this marriage has been the most painful of all. You can only take so much of not being loved, until you finally say, I am worth more than this! Did i wish i had fallen in love with an unmarried man? Yes. That would have made life simplier.
I don't know what i am trying to say here, except, the experience of this A has been painful but it made me feel alive and loved and it reaffirmed for me, that i am all of those things. In all of this, i have never felt so in touch with myself--even if some of that is very, very painful.
The reason it is hard to stop and to say no and to not wish for more, is that for me, this relationship with XMM as the first time in nearly 2 decades that someone told me they loved me, confided in me, shared with me, wanted and desired me and needed me. that is intoxicating indeed. But i know now, i must feel all those things about myself--not from words or actions from H or XMM.
I don't need/want either to make me feel good about myself.
Clarice
I wish sometimes that my OM would have been a jerk, offering me nothing but crumbs and treating me like a second-class mistress.... It would be easier to get over that kind of relationship, I think.
While he was in Europe last summer--I ended the realtionship when he got back--he told me he prayed for me daily. I often light candles at church for him and his wife.
The painful thing, i think for us both, is that we would have been great together and we can't be--never even really tried to be, but for a few kisses, some touching and lots and lots of talking and sharing. We were connected in each and every way.
Every A has its story and they are all painful, not matter what. For me (and i've posted this before) it was like an amazing gift that had been dropped at my doorstep (a gift i had yearned for but not sought) that i could never open.
Clarice
Pages