What would you do???? O/T

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
What would you do???? O/T
3
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 11:14am
I just heard from my realtor that it looks like my house may be officialy SOLD. Now I have a big decision to make. The plan was that my H, daughter and I would move into my parent's home for a few months to get back on our feet financially and save a down payment on a new home. Well I am starting to re-think that because my mom and I have a rocky relationship, not to mention their feelings about my H and the fact that in my mother's eyes I have totally dropped the ball in raising my 3 year old. My best friend has offered us an apartment in her family's appartment complex for a good price. It is more than what we would pay at my parents - - $400 there, about $700 in an apartment. The only drawback is that we would really have to adjust our "noise" level and there would be no yard for my daughter to play in. But if H and I don't manage to make our marriage work, I could afford to live in the apartment on my own and I could still enjoy my parents' company. What do you think??

Thanks,

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 11:31am
I say go with the apartment, especially if you are going to continue to work on your marriage.

I always say, I love my mother dearly, but I don't think that I would want to live with her.

Is there a park near by to take your daughter to?

JMHO

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 1:54pm
Oh, cripes! Karry, I posted a LONG response to you as soon as I saw your post---then my stooopid computer performed an illegal function and shut down...man, was I ticked!! Any way....

My thoughts? NO! Don't move in with mom and dad. If you have ANY unresolved issues, it will just be amplified when you move back there. Imagine having your parenting skills constantly criticized or judged with a condemning look or comment. And if there is already tension with h....I don't see living with mom making it better or going away.

Though its a bit more costly, I'd say take the apartment.....its more neutral territory. I know about having to adjust your 3 yr old to that...but its do-able. And like you said, if things don't work out with your h, at least you'll already be in an apt. you can afford AND enjoy your parents company, without blood being shed...lol.

Tough decision....good luck!

dharma

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 6:10pm

Hi, Karry! Hey, if your relationship is anywhere near as rocky as the one I have with my mother, there's no way in hell I would ever live in the same house as her! She may be my mother and I may love her but I don't like many of her actions or attitudes. (My son is 22 yo and she still tells people that he would have been better off had she raised him than me!)


It might be $300 more