What Would you Say?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
What Would you Say?
19
Sun, 08-22-2010 - 6:10pm

As many of you know, I have a blog where I jot down my thoughts about this road to recovery after ending an A. In the beginning, I wrote mostly about my healing, and now, almost 7 months out of my A, I write about rebuilding my marriage. Through the blog world, I've found many other "A blogs" and enjoy reading the various perspectives and supporting those committed to ending their A's and pushing those caught up in the fog to end theirs. Recently, my blog has come under attack by some who appear to be pro-A. They challenge me to argue why A love isn't real love. I know in my heart that A love isn't real love- I've seen so many stories here that have proven that to me. I know in my heart that ending my A was the right choice; the only choice. Some people in the blog world think I am self righteous because of that. They want so badly to convince the world that they are the exception. They pose arguments about why their A is "real." When I come here, I don't often have to face someone who believes this. We come here because we want to end our A... the argument is already won for the most part. So, what do I say to someone who challenges me that their A is real love... that their AP and them are meant to be? That they aren't caught up in a fog, but rather a real relationship?

I appreciate all input :)

Hugs,

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2010
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 6:29am

I completely agree with you and Clarity.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 6:41am

AND another thing......................


For those who are M.

New Choices, New Chapter,


New Challenges,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 7:16am

Jane,


I haven't read through the responses but here's my reality.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 9:06am

Hey Jane,


I have to agree with Dee.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 10:05am
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 10:29am

I can't stop laughing.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 10:34am

Clarity - I love you!


**still laughing with you**


Shut up - priceless. We are so used to listening and giving long winded justifications to our thoughts & feelings - when sometimes all we need, is to get to the freaking point!


LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 11:18am

<<<"Being charmed out of rightfully being hurt..."-wow...this is so true...all of the things here are true, but that one hit me hard. That is what confused me the most...I trusted him so much and eventually found out I was just allowing myself to be manipulated. The thing that disgusts me the most is that I had such callous disregard for myself. Well said...thanks for this post!>>>

This sums up so much for me and often was the reason for so much hurt. Perfect wording.

Clarity - love the shut up remark! Jane, it's your sand box and you can say whatever your little heart desires!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 8:34am

To All- Thank you so much for your thoughtful responses. I have been struggling with my own internal drama over the blog issue for several days and it is refreshing to read your thoughts.


As I told E1 via email, I don't want to argue. I post my thoughts about what I feel based on my reality and I can't waste my time trying to convince someone else what is right or wrong or what is love and what isn't love. Besides, what is right for me may not be right for someone else. I subject myself to varying points of view by even having a blog... something I am seriously considering discontinuing as I take the next step forward on this road to recovery.

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 9:19am

Hi Jane,


Garfy


NC since 13 September 2010 and trying to feel great...


Fate d

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