What's made me decide to end it
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What's made me decide to end it
| Mon, 10-11-2004 - 4:35am |
Just thought I would write and hopefully help others here.
I live with my partner but have been having a long distance A with a MM. Only one week ago, I was sitting here, reading the boards and crying. I was crying and yearning for MM and just desparetely wanted to see him. I asked others how to walk away. The advice I received was probably the most valuable advice I will ever receive.
Women told me that when they decided to end their affair they did it because MM never made them feel special anymore, or purely talked about sex.
This is my story of this weekend and what has made my mind up.
MM has been with his wife all weekend so we couldn't communicate. We did communicate last night. Normally MM would be sexual yeah, but he would also be complimentary, throwing in a few romantic comments. You know ladies, all the stuff we girls want to hear. He obviously had a serious attack of the guilts last night - everything he said was sexual, no questions as to how I was, none of his usual comments about what he thinks/feels about me. None of how much he has missed me or thought about me. Just sexual stuff. Me however, told him how much I had thought about him, how I wished I had spent the weekend with him, how lovely he was... need I go on? This morning, I am sitting here cringing at the thought. Last week I was sitting here crying for him!
I have the 'ha ha' experience other ladies told me I would get. Quite frankly I feel used. I'm not saying the sex we have isn't good, and a large part of me is in it purely for sex, but as you know ladies, we girls always attach some form of love or bonding to sex. Men, especially MM, do not in general and this has really smacked me in the face today.
If he contacts me today he will probably be slightly different, as the guilt thing with his wife is not as apparent. I can tell what he is doing - he was trying to emotionally detach himself from me last night, and make himself feel better by making everything out to be sexual. Probably because he had just left his wife to return to work with the parting words of "I love you".
I'm not actually asking for his love, but what I am asking for is something little more than a sex object for him, however good the sex is.
i guess what I am trying to tell you ladies out there who are having an A is please don't see through rosy coloured glasses. OK, not all MM are in it just for the sex. But what I don't want you to feel is the rollercoaster ride I have been through - elation, tears, depression, yearning, want, and feeling used.
We are all worth more than this.
Today is a new day - when he contacts me later I am going to tell him how I feel, and quite frankly if he doesn't like it he can shove it.
Today I am going to focus on my partner, the man who really loves me and gives me unconditional love. The man I am betraying.
Ladies, please look after yourselves and ask this question - Does the MM go through the rollercoaster of emotions we do? Do they sit and cry at night?
I live with my partner but have been having a long distance A with a MM. Only one week ago, I was sitting here, reading the boards and crying. I was crying and yearning for MM and just desparetely wanted to see him. I asked others how to walk away. The advice I received was probably the most valuable advice I will ever receive.
Women told me that when they decided to end their affair they did it because MM never made them feel special anymore, or purely talked about sex.
This is my story of this weekend and what has made my mind up.
MM has been with his wife all weekend so we couldn't communicate. We did communicate last night. Normally MM would be sexual yeah, but he would also be complimentary, throwing in a few romantic comments. You know ladies, all the stuff we girls want to hear. He obviously had a serious attack of the guilts last night - everything he said was sexual, no questions as to how I was, none of his usual comments about what he thinks/feels about me. None of how much he has missed me or thought about me. Just sexual stuff. Me however, told him how much I had thought about him, how I wished I had spent the weekend with him, how lovely he was... need I go on? This morning, I am sitting here cringing at the thought. Last week I was sitting here crying for him!
I have the 'ha ha' experience other ladies told me I would get. Quite frankly I feel used. I'm not saying the sex we have isn't good, and a large part of me is in it purely for sex, but as you know ladies, we girls always attach some form of love or bonding to sex. Men, especially MM, do not in general and this has really smacked me in the face today.
If he contacts me today he will probably be slightly different, as the guilt thing with his wife is not as apparent. I can tell what he is doing - he was trying to emotionally detach himself from me last night, and make himself feel better by making everything out to be sexual. Probably because he had just left his wife to return to work with the parting words of "I love you".
I'm not actually asking for his love, but what I am asking for is something little more than a sex object for him, however good the sex is.
i guess what I am trying to tell you ladies out there who are having an A is please don't see through rosy coloured glasses. OK, not all MM are in it just for the sex. But what I don't want you to feel is the rollercoaster ride I have been through - elation, tears, depression, yearning, want, and feeling used.
We are all worth more than this.
Today is a new day - when he contacts me later I am going to tell him how I feel, and quite frankly if he doesn't like it he can shove it.
Today I am going to focus on my partner, the man who really loves me and gives me unconditional love. The man I am betraying.
Ladies, please look after yourselves and ask this question - Does the MM go through the rollercoaster of emotions we do? Do they sit and cry at night?
Take care, orchid.

That is so true, Orchid. And no, they are NOT going through that same ride that we are! They are NOT crying at night. I for one, am getting off that ride and not wasting one more tear on a man who has not wasted one caring thought on me!
Lily