Whats wrong with me??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Whats wrong with me??
1
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 9:42am
I need advice. Why am I drawn to MM? I find that I really want someone of my own but yet and still I end up with a MM. I have had two relationships like this. The last one ended so badly that I wanted to die. I had to give my kids to my sister because I was unable to function and I lost my job. Now I am back on my feet 1yr later with a great job, better than the last and I am at it again. I know the hurt I will encounter and I don't want to have these kind of relationships. My every waking thought is that I need to escape from this. I am a single girl and I know I should be able to hit the single scene. Is it me? Am I doing something that tells these MM that I welcome this? Please give me advise. I need to hear from those of you who have won the battle. I know you may still struggle but I want to wake up and be in the position where I can say, "My XMM". I feel so tired, drained, stressed, down, I KNOW I deserve better. GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what is wrong with me.


Help!!

Me

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 11:03am
<<< Why am I drawn to MM? >>>>

It could be for many reasons including 1) you fear commitment so loving a MM allows you emotional distance in already knowing he is unavailable, 2) you have self-esteem issues, and any man is better than no man, 3) you are drawn to the excitement of an affair as they do become very addictive, 4)there's a void inside of you that aches to be filled, i.e., one or more parents were emotionally or physically absent in your childhood.

What I'm wondering is why would you expose yourself to this pain again if you've already been through it once before? Is there some reason you need to punish yourself?

Affairs ARE draining, stressful, and can cause fatigue and depression. You've admitted to feeling some of these symtoms. They will not go away until you can make a conscience effort to end this destructive behavior once and for all. I know, easier said than done, but you are already well aware of the negatives and only YOU can end this.

I suggest to keep reading the posts, and the archives, and all of the articles on here. Somewhere you will see yourself. Then, when you have reached the breaking point, you will know what you have to do. You will know when ENOUGH is ENOUGH.

Keep posting and pray for strength,

Sunny

Sunny