When did you know it was time to end?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
When did you know it was time to end?
14
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 8:40pm
I'm just wondering...for all you who ended your EMA - when did you know it was time to end it? I have been involved in EMA for about 9 mos. Lately, I feel that I've been in way too deep emotionally. Not sure what MM feels. We have great Sex :) - but, that's about it. We don't go out..have lunch, anything. I'm so afraid all the time that he is going to end it - I drive myself crazy with overthinking...I've been thinking, maybe I just need to end it and move on. Although, I can' imagine him not in my life.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 4:43pm
Bird: I think i am be getting there. I do feel sorry for his W. I do feel sorry for him. I do love myself and am starting to feel better (well, at least i have felt better the last 2 weeks--and that is consecutive days, amazing).

Maybe i am getting there. But then i remember he asked me: Do you think we will be doing this when we are 65? All roads seem to always end at my door with him; and at his, with me.

I just don't know.

Clarice

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 7:01pm
Thank you all for your wonderful thoughts, it certainly gives me something to think about. I'm so on the fence on what to do about him. It's funny, he can go a day and not call me..but, if I don't call him right back - he calls me again wondering why he keeps getting my voicemail? It's ok for me to go out of my way to see him, but, he never seems to make the time for me...I'm always juggling time when it's convenient for him. I keep giving him sexually what ever he wants, hoping that he'll hang in there and fall me for. In my mind, I think he's made it pretty clear he's in his M for the long run (two little kids) I'm at a bad place right now..on the verge of leaving H (I'm sure if I told MM this, he'll run the other way?) Just trying to get by and figure out what to do!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 8:25am
Take it from someone who has been there and NOW three years later after all of those years are gone, and they will never be given back tio you,all those moments in time that someone NOT married could have been right there available and we chose not to see,, GET OUT as soon as you question yourself when is it time to leave,,because the pain just grows BIGGER with all the time that passes

Ladyinwaiting40

WILL NEVER WAIT FOR A MAN AGAIN!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2003
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 11:30pm
Ladies, thank you so much for the insight. I needed to read this post more than anything. I'm hurting so much right now as I have come to the painful realization that it's time. Time to take back my life and move on. Time to realize that he never was really serious about leaving his lousy M for me (I however, was ready to leave mine for him). Time to realize that maybe I was just his sexual obsession and toy whom he grew to love over time, but the main focus was still the fantasy. Time to realize that he is weak in a lot of ways, and that those weaknesses would definitely be brought into any 'normal' relationship, had we proceeded in that direction to divorce our spouses for each other. Time to realize that he loves his W more deeply than he will ever admit. Time to realize that he will never have the backbone to stand up and admit his love for me. And time to realize as one lady so eloquently put it, that he would throw me under the bus if it meant him getting caught in the A. Oh, how did I let this happen? Five years invested and I do believe I've finally had enough.

Virgogirl

Pages