When do you miss him the most?
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| Sun, 01-09-2005 - 1:25pm |
I've noticed that I seem to miss my xMM the most right when I wake up in the morning. The first thought that crosses my mind is knowing that we are not togehter any longer and it makes me miss him terribly. Mornings always suck. As the day moves on and I go to work, the pain of missing him subsides some and I feel I will be fine without him and can probably manage NC. Then night comes when I go home by myself and start thinking about him not being around for me anymore so I start to justify reasons for letting him break NC. By morning I am very weak with thoughts of him and that's when he always stops over and I let him back. This is a continuous cycle again. I wish I didn't have to wake up!! Just wondering when it is hardest for the rest of you.
PAL

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I used to know xMM's schedule better than he did. I knew when he was on lunch or driving in his car. We'd see each other for lunch or I'd call him 2-3 times a day. Those are the times I miss him the most- those times when I had contact with him. It's hard to break the habit of calling him at those times or looking at my cell to see if he's called. But it gets easier with every day I don't talk to him. I still have that pit in my stomach you talk about. Wish that would go away soon.
Breathe
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I agree with this also!! Sometimes I think that once these habits we've formed, break, it will be easier to move on.
I am also trying to think of omething else when he pops into my head.But it is not always easy because i still dream about him.
I miss him on the weekends. There was usually no contact on the weekends, and since I lived alone a great deal of the time we were having the A, I used get lonely because we talked and e-mailed so much during the week (and of course that's when we saw each other also). I would envy him his family, dog and cat. Oh, he would call on the weekends once in a while but just to let me know what he and the family were doing. Jerk. AH (His adult son STILL lives at home -- and he's over 30. Daddy will never let Sonny go -- because then Daddy will be alone with Mommy. And things are fairly ok at home as long as he doesn't have to be alone with her. That's the main reason he won't retire.)
Oh god, I'm angry tonight. I hate it when I'm angry and I hate it when I miss him. It's like giving him control again.
Ugh. :-)
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Bella,
Hope you are feeling better this morning and hoping that your anger has subsided.They are *SO* now worth it,
I found it interesting that you and some others mentioned waking up in the morning as a difficult time. It's been over for several months for me, yet every morning I wake up, it still is the first thing I think about. It used to be the last thing I thought about before falling asleep too, but I'm doing my best to change those bedtime thoughts into something more positive.
But the real, substantial things I miss about him, had been missing and/or altered some time ago. When I realized that which made me feel so good in the beginning of the A was different, that's when my outlook on the A itself made the important turn. The bad feelings were far outweighing the good ones, so why hold onto the A any longer? Just because it's very difficult to let go? That wasn't a good enough reason for me to continue risking everything for.
On the way to and from work. We were big phone buddies. We live within spitting distance of each other, so our commute was the same. We literally talked from the moment we got into the car until the moment we hit the door.
We were also e-mail buddies, but depending on how busy he was, that was hit or miss.
In general, I just miss him. But after three months of NC, the finer points -- such as the sound of his voice, the way he smelled, his laugh -- are starting to fade.
While I'm sad about that, it does make the seperation a little easier to take each day.
In the time that I am alone or in my car and a song will come on that will jog my memory of something he said or did. Or if I see a truck like his, crazy stupid little things like that, but the one thing I miss the most is the phone calls or text msgs. He would call and just ask What cha doin? Okay enough of the back peddling gotta move forward
Good Luck to all onthegochick
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