Men control their feelings better than women, they were raised that way. I don't doubt that these men we let go, especially if we were the ones doing the breaking up, are hurting too. As women, we just need to KNOW and HEAR that they are. Once we hear that, we feel better. I think they know this, and try to keep their feelings to themselves so they don't give us the satisfaction of thinking we have the upper hand on this.
It's a control issue, and no one wants to give that up, it shows weakness.
I agree, My MM tried to make everyone believe he was doing ok and some believed it but I could tell. Even though he left me and was taking his space, he couldn't look at me. He wouldn't even talk to me. i tried talking to him just to be civil but he wouldn't. However after almost 1 month of being like that, he went on stress leave and he's been gone 3 weeks so far. he's off until the end of March and I will only have to start seeing him then. By then I'll be even stronger still so I can't wait. He thinks I showed strength before, I really can't wait for him to see me soon. He won't know what hit him. It's me and I'm back and better than before. I can even listen to our favorite song and it doesn't make me tear up or sad or anything. Men have major issues with showing their feelings and mine was no exception. He said with me I was so 'special' that he could show that side of him b/c he was so comfortable with me. Oh of course he was comfortable, I was his strength and support. Not any more and I know he's a mess. I love it, love it, love it. I just finished reading a book, 'He's scared, she's scared.' It's about committment issues, and it reads like my situation. Things MM did and said are in this book. Scary eh? I know. Anyway, the final chapter talks about the active runner, my MM and that he's suffering but will never let me know that. In his mind, I'm still here waiting for him that's why he's not contacting me b/c he doesn't think he has to b/c I'll always be there like I have been in the past. What a surprise he will get some day. Wow, that day will be bittersweet. So until then I'm living life and smelling the fresh air.
You are so strong it gives me hope. I hope I am in that place one day. I used to always be strong and outgoing. Could care less about him, how did it all change. How did he turn it all around to where I am a pathtic mess? I need to get back to the old me! Are you single?
It took time to get here and lots of tears and questions. I am single and I remember last year thinking how happy I would be if I were single then I got what I wanted and didn't want it b/c I was so dependent on him. Not again. I will always be me and no man will get that from me nor will I give it up. My MM has committment problems, major ones. When he saw that things were going to be good and there wasn't any more drama, he bailed and that's ok. I don't want drama, i crave the day when I can sit out on my deck and listen to the water running in the river and be at peace. He said he wanted that but he doesn't. I am looking forward to a wonderful summer of freedom and fun with my friends. I haven't been single in 18 yrs. Yipeeeeee! Life is mine again. I am almost whole. almost!! Someone wrote something here about supressing who were are and it hit home for me. I lost who I am with him. I liked me and I want to be that person again. Head up. Stay strong. Tomorrow will be another triumphant day. Embrace it, don't let it go. We can choose tomorrow or even today to be the first day of a new beginning. LilRocket (funny eh? that was his nickname for me when we started over 2 yrs ago. He said I was feisty and had spunk and he loved that!! who knows really, and who cares!!!hehehe)
Isnt it weird how everything they were attracted to they try to change at least mine did. Mine loves I was so strong and independant and never jealous and wow what a difference today, he turned me into GLEN CLOSE in Fatal Attraction! I could not believe what an ugly person I have become!
I hear you. I was always a very logical and reasonable person. Never acted on emotions. Then he leaves me and I've become the psycho b***h that I accused his wife of being. Glen Close has nothing on me, I've lost it completely. Driving by his house, watching to see if his wife leaves work and goes to her house or his.....etc......I'm nuts now. LilRocket
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Men control their feelings better than women, they were raised that way. I don't doubt that these men we let go, especially if we were the ones doing the breaking up, are hurting too. As women, we just need to KNOW and HEAR that they are. Once we hear that, we feel better. I think they know this, and try to keep their feelings to themselves so they don't give us the satisfaction of thinking we have the upper hand on this.
It's a control issue, and no one wants to give that up, it shows weakness.
I agree, My MM tried to make everyone believe he was doing ok and some believed it but I could tell. Even though he left me and was taking his space, he couldn't look at me. He wouldn't even talk to me. i tried talking to him just to be civil but he wouldn't. However after almost 1 month of being like that, he went on stress leave and he's been gone 3 weeks so far. he's off until the end of March and I will only have to start seeing him then. By then I'll be even stronger still so I can't wait. He thinks I showed strength before, I really can't wait for him to see me soon. He won't know what hit him. It's me and I'm back and better than before. I can even listen to our favorite song and it doesn't make me tear up or sad or anything.
Men have major issues with showing their feelings and mine was no exception. He said with me I was so 'special' that he could show that side of him b/c he was so comfortable with me. Oh of course he was comfortable, I was his strength and support. Not any more and I know he's a mess. I love it, love it, love it.
I just finished reading a book, 'He's scared, she's scared.' It's about committment issues, and it reads like my situation. Things MM did and said are in this book. Scary eh? I know. Anyway, the final chapter talks about the active runner, my MM and that he's suffering but will never let me know that. In his mind, I'm still here waiting for him that's why he's not contacting me b/c he doesn't think he has to b/c I'll always be there like I have been in the past. What a surprise he will get some day. Wow, that day will be bittersweet. So until then I'm living life and smelling the fresh air.
LilRocket
deleted
GG
Edited 2/14/2006 8:51 am ET by ggkali
It took time to get here and lots of tears and questions. I am single and I remember last year thinking how happy I would be if I were single then I got what I wanted and didn't want it b/c I was so dependent on him. Not again. I will always be me and no man will get that from me nor will I give it up. My MM has committment problems, major ones. When he saw that things were going to be good and there wasn't any more drama, he bailed and that's ok. I don't want drama, i crave the day when I can sit out on my deck and listen to the water running in the river and be at peace. He said he wanted that but he doesn't. I am looking forward to a wonderful summer of freedom and fun with my friends. I haven't been single in 18 yrs. Yipeeeeee! Life is mine again. I am almost whole. almost!! Someone wrote something here about supressing who were are and it hit home for me. I lost who I am with him. I liked me and I want to be that person again. Head up. Stay strong. Tomorrow will be another triumphant day. Embrace it, don't let it go. We can choose tomorrow or even today to be the first day of a new beginning.
LilRocket (funny eh? that was his nickname for me when we started over 2 yrs ago. He said I was feisty and had spunk and he loved that!! who knows really, and who cares!!!hehehe)
me too kelly. i've never been so miserable.
debbi
I hear you. I was always a very logical and reasonable person. Never acted on emotions. Then he leaves me and I've become the psycho b***h that I accused his wife of being. Glen Close has nothing on me, I've lost it completely. Driving by his house, watching to see if his wife leaves work and goes to her house or his.....etc......I'm nuts now.
LilRocket
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