When does the obsessiveness end??
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When does the obsessiveness end??
| Thu, 01-13-2005 - 8:59am |
I know everyone is different so I guess this is more like a vent but when does the obsession with checking the email or phone subside?? I know my A has only been over for a week but i hate it. MM always called around 8. So every night i get nervous and wait just to see if he will call. Of course he doesn't. I then go to sleep sad. I guess it doesn't help that he said he will call at soem point..keeps the anticipation going.
ANd the same with thing with the email. Every morning we'd email. I still check as if he might email...
I just hate the reocurring scenario everyday..
Doesn't help thatthe lasy 8 out of 10 days have been dark and gloomy
Thanks for listening

Cap,
I can't tell you when it will end, but know you're not alone. My MM used to leave me love notes under my pillow, or just hidden in odd places everyday that I would find when I got home from work. It's been over since Thanksgiving and I still look under my pillow everyday. Obviously there is never anything there anymore. I think that is another thing time, and NC will help alleviate. Good luck!
Pal
You're describing habits, Bria.
How do you break habits? You change them. Do something different. Replace the bad habit with a good one. Scientists tell us that the brain rewires itself to accept a new habit in as little as two weeks. Thing is, you have to actively choose to do it, Bria.
Ensure you are busy doing something, anything just make it's the same thing, at 8pm every evening that will keep your hands & mind busy enough that you're unable to keep checking the phone which should be charging in it's cradle and not on your person. Better still, you could choose to take control of the situation by changing the sim card so you know for a fact he cannot call.
In the mornings, take that beautiful daughter of yours out for a walk or if the weather is nasty, have a good romp & tickle with her on the floor. The exercise releases feel-good endorphins very similar to the buzz we get from our that email or text or im from exMM. Don't switch the pute on until 1pm. If it's not switched on, you can't be sat at it waiting for emails. Block his email addresses & IM usernames. Nothing to wait for at all then, is there?
Of course, changing your sim card and blocking his email/im means you actually mean to end the affair rather than simply waiting on MM to decide whether he's prepared to continue carrying the enormous burden of *making* or *keeping* you happy.
Eventually MM will be tapped out, sucked dry, used up, Bria. I think you already know he's pretty close to that point already, if he's not already reached it. "All the good is gone," and what you're looking at is whatever's left. When a relationship cannot grow, it dies. It can only ever get less & less good, more & more frustrating and painful, too. For both of you.
Oh, you can torture yourself some more and add to the burden you've placed on MM's shoulders, or you can choose to change the obsessive habits.
It is, always was and will only ever be entirely your own choice.
Wishing you strength & peace,
Posie