When it the OW ' s Birthday?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
When it the OW ' s Birthday?
6
Wed, 03-31-2004 - 4:16am
Ok doing well with this NC thing - 3 weeks four days - ie. no phone calls, messages etc. and I feel as if I am getting over it all slowly!!

What do I do though when it is her Birthday? I sent a card ....I know, bad move. Not intending to call on the day but this is hard as I would be upset if she missed mine --- just a hump in the road?? - --- encouraging words needed please!!

Boeing

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Wed, 03-31-2004 - 10:52am
Is there really much difference between a birthday, christmas, hanukkah, easter, halloween or any OTHER celebrated day? The importance is NO contact or contact. One should also keep in mind that any type of communication, continues to keep the gates of communication open.

...........If that is your goal, then you did well. If not, then I hope she won't make too much of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Wed, 03-31-2004 - 11:31am
You sent her a card, in my opinion that is MORE than enough. You remembered her, you don't need to call or tell her anything else. And now, you have an entire year before you have to worry about it again. At which point, you will hopefully both be over this enough that a.) she won't get the wrong idea from a birthday card; or b.) she won't expect you to remember her birthday and you won't feel obligated.

That's what I'm telling myself anyway, thinking ahead 7 months to OM's birthday... ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
Wed, 03-31-2004 - 11:42am
I have this problem too as my XMM's birthday is next week. Last week, while i was reliving the A through my posts (remember) i had considered throwing him a surprise birthday party with one of his best friends (i quickly got past that idea!). I did buy a book for him on meditative prayer (i got it at a retreat i went on recently and he was very interested in the subject). So now i wonder to i wrap that and send it to him or just forget about it.

On my birthday last fall, all i got was an email from him saying: When can i come over and give you your birthday spankings!

Clarice

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 5:47pm
Thanks guys. Made it thru the day OK. The card I sent was very platonic - certainly didn't mention any spankings!! I think it just lets OW know I still do think of her on her birthday as I am sure she does of me. should NC take away all common courtesies such as remembering a b'day?

Now back to the NC.....

Boeing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 8:15pm
Just want to say "How Sweet". I wish the jerk I was involved with would have sent me some kind of birthday or holiday greeting. I suppose it does contradict the No Contact rules, but under the circumstances I think the gesture comes off as more of sign of respect and maturity if the card was platonic in nature and you don't expect her to acknowledge her receipt of the card. Sort of like when competitive sport teams shake hands after the game, even if one team got slaughtered. But just to make sure the "courtesies" stay under wraps, perhaps just do it only on one occasion.

JMHO,

LC

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 11:34pm
Boeing1..........just curious about what MW's reply was to your birthday greeting? Did she acknowledge it in any way?

Hope you're doing well.