"when someone shows u who they r, believe them the 1st time"
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"when someone shows u who they r, believe them the 1st time"
| Thu, 11-18-2010 - 4:08pm |
I love that quote... seen it on a post just now...
I came over here from MAS cause its the right place for me.

Welcome D,
You've had enough? It seems then that you're in the right place and at a great time as there are a lot of other newbies that have found their way over to EAS.
I think you know the ropes here - that you'll be held accountable for your actions, and not colluded with.
You won't be soothed out of your guilt or given permission to sit in victim thinking.
You'll be cared for, but you're actions won't be minimized.
This is where broken people with broken hearts come to take responsibiilty for causing the pain, and responsibility for healing it.
There are tools here - endless tools.
Please read & post as often as you can. We are all in this together.
If you're feeling something, well chances are someone has felt it before, thought it before and has risen above it.
My best to you & I look forward to walking with you in this journey.
TU.
DD,
Welcome to our community. I hope you are reading our Healing Library, fipping through the recent posts in the General Section, and you may want to add your name to the Roll Call thread for newbies. It's a great way for other newbies to get to know you and helps me to keep you all straight. :smileywink: We've had quite an influx of new posters but this is not unusual this time of year. As I said in another post, I have been here long enough to know when to prepare my fingers for lots of typing. The holidays do weird things to APs, where many suddenly developing a conscience and decide to turn over a new leaf in the upcoming new year. A lot of broken hearts happen toward the end of the year, even in normal relationships...so with that said,
<>> Never say never, but you need to protect yourself just in case he finds a way to wiggle back in. This is when you have to slam his toe in the door. :smileysurprised: I am proud of your for blocking....but this means you have to KEEP him blocked. I read on here too many times how a weak moment causes an ender to unblock. None of that, okay? You said yourself, "Its obvious that our A did not and will not work out, ever... and I accept that its over."
Anti-Ds helped me too. I started taking them before I ended my A for the 3rd and last time. When I finally made the decision, I was already numbed up pretty good and didn't feel much of anything. I never even cried. Okay, maybe this is not so good...but you know what? It got me over that initial hurdle of inevitable pain...and then 3 months later I went off of them. Eventually we have to deal with our emotions, but I was already out the door and down the road....and strong enough to never look back. I dealt with my junk as it presented itself by finding this board, reading everything I could get my hands on, writing to other gals for off the board support, accepting my role in all of it, and then forgiving myself. You do what you have to do to get healthy again. Ending an A is a journey all of it's own with peaks and valleys around ever curve. You will need stamina, patience, faith, and the desire to want a better life for yourself.
You ask how long will it take to heal? Well...that is going to be entirely up to you. As long as there is NC, chances are you will start feeling much better in a few months. These things can't be rushed. You will know as time passes if you are making progress. If you find yourself stuck for too long, it's time to get some therapy. There is a thread in Healing Library about how to go about doing that. Actually there is a thread in the Healing Library for just about everything you will want to know and/or need to know.
So, again welcome, and I hope we will hear more from you. Post any time about anything. This is a safe place to vent, ask questions, or just ramble on if need be. There is always someone who will relate to your feelings and emotions.
((Hugs)))