When will this pain go away?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2011
When will this pain go away?
12
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 4:14pm

It has been 5 weeks since I have seen AP and almost a month since we have spoken. Some days I feel so strong, almost like I'm over him. Other days, like today, I feel sad, weak and like contacting him. I think I am sad that he only tried to contact me that one time. We communicated via IM during the time for a few days and decided once again that NC was best. I keep trying to look for a sign in cyberworld for me--like a song on his you tube page or something that let's me know he is thinking of me. The days I don't think of him, I dream of him. This is actually worse becaue I feel like it is out of my control and disrupts my sleep. I often wake up sad. After having a hot and heavy 2 year A, what can I expect, right? I just want to know, from your experiences, when does the pain subside and when will he really be a distant memory? Pointers?

Thanks and hugs to all of you :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2011
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 4:52pm

Hello, Lifebackplease,

Welcome to EAS.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 5:02pm

HI and Welcome-

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 5:10pm

LBP,

Welcome to Endings and thank you for introducing yourself. I am sorry you are still hurting at almost a month out, but I see that you have had strong days too. The strong ones will outweigh the weak ones with some more time. Have you read our Healing Library yet? There is so much information there and since you asked about how long this takes and any pointers, you will find what you want to know in the HL.

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2011
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 6:01pm

Thank you so much for your responses. I thought I was doing so well with 3.5 weeks NC, and never thought of the on line aspect of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 6:53pm

Dear LBP,

Big hugs and a warm welcome to EAS. I'm so sorry for the pain you are feeling, and so happy that you have found your way to this safe place of healing and support.

My story echoes yours in many ways.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2011
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 7:08pm

Hi and welcome to EAS.

I am sorry you are going through this pain and if it is of any reassuarance, please know that every single ladies here have gone through it and know what it is like to hurt right in the gut after the ending of the A.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 7:43pm
Hi LBP,

The pain will subside, it really does. Going nc and stopping the looking for signs of what he maybe feeling will help bring the focus back to you. It is tough I know but it can and will be done, I stuggled in my early days of ending and found reading the posts and Healing Library very helpful. Posting when you can will give you a great support as well, it helps to see our low moments typed out and think about where we are in our thoughts. I am a visual person and Iddy had posted a stop sign and for me that helped me in changing my thought patterns. I am really glad you are here and are on your way to becoming healthier:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 7:54pm
lbp, I have no advice on that being nc less than u but looking at the internet stuff is keeping you in it that much I do know I had a mutual friend tell me something stupid about xap and wife and it may as well as set the clock back nothing you see on his online stuff is going to ease you pain. ((hug))
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 8:31pm

Hi Lifeback :)

You are focusing on the finish line, not the present moment. Just know that the pain WILL subside. The "when" will depend on a lot of things. You have to do the hard work of looking within yourself to find peace and happiness. This board will help you tremendously, so read and post as much as you need to.

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 8:57pm

Hello Life,

Welcome to EAS.

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