When you are done, you are done

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
When you are done, you are done
2
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 7:12am
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 8:52am

change that name! I LOVE THE NEW SUGGESTION.

"the thing is..I know WHY i fell into this godawful A..but I do not know why I STAYED in it for so long. why I took so much abuse, so much torture. Why I let someone treat me that way. So I am trying to figure that out.....but maybe I can't?"

Yes get the the bottom of these questions! Don't just accept that it happened, or the past will once again become your present and future. Alice you've been in this exact place before, of being grateful - remember the post about reading your daughter a bedtime story (I think it was you!) and you were so grateful to be connected and present with your family. Then you went back again ... this was never about how amazing our real lives were, or could have been, it was/is about something IN us. NO external anything can (alone) make it all go away. Not even an incredible life. I know this first hand.

I absolutely believe that YOU believe that you are done done. I don't doubt you at all - in THIS moment. What I would suggest though, is continuing to dig deep and not to let the "high" of getting to have all this amazing family around you prevent you from doing the work that will keep them safe. All of their lives have been put at risk by your actions and choices; they deserve you to figure out why and to not do it again.

Much love.

TU.