Where I am at

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Where I am at
14
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 3:00pm
Hi everyone,
I have reached a point in my journey where I feel I am not connecting or articulating what I feel to others around me effectively and most of all to myself. I believe one of the reasons being is my DD has indicated being in a EA which I allowed to cause triggers in myself that had set me back in my thinking. I did post on this, I was very vague though and can see I was using old behaviours by not facing a challenge face on and choosing to dance around the situation in my mind. My DD had come to me and shared this information and I shared my own experiences and how damaging the EA/PA path could be. It did not take long to recognize in my DD that I was not going to prevent the choice of a EA from happening. In some ways it was like watching me make my choice to have an A all over again. It shocked me, I can see I have gone underground with my feelings. Today I made the call to set up counseling, I cannot do this any longer on my own, EAS has been a blessing and a huge support and I can more clearly how much I need ic. Thank you for the safe place to post and all the feedback that keeps me thinking:)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 1:18pm
Thank you Michelle for the prayers and hugs:-) Recently I came to a point where I did'nt act very classy or subdued and my behaviour really shook me up. It was'nt quite wrestling, although it came close:( I did want to save and prevent, the realization that I could not threw me and I have had a constant headache for the last month. In one of iddy's replies she had written nothing changes until you do, this really stood out to me. I want to change and ic will be a very important step for me to create healthy changes. Big hugs to you Michelle:-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 1:56pm
Thank you TU for being proud of me:-) I have heard back this morning from the couselling services and I am looking forward to having the opportunity to really work at uncovering the issues I have buried. I also realize I have not been a good example, I need to change how I view myself so that I can show my DD that living healthy is possible. I have much to learn and to put into good practice. IC will put me on the right path in attaining the goal of interacting with my DD without my triggers affecting my support of her:-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 2:22pm
Thank you Melinda, the support and encouragement I have received is very uplifting. I have been re-reading all the responses and have very valuable information to work with. What you wrote about my DD and I being two different emotional selves gave me alot to think about. Ic is going to be very beneficial to me in separating my issues from those around me that I love. Thank you for the book suggestion I have heard about Melody's books on co-dependecy and I recognize myself in what I have read so far. Big hugs to you Melinda and thank you for pointing out private business to me, respecting boundaries is a big issue for me to work on:-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 2:28pm
Thank you V888 for the love and support it means alot to me:-) At this point our relationship is unsteady, we are not hearing each other. Ic will be so beneficial to me to help open my ears to what my DD needs from me. The last few days I have been working at just listening so that I hear what she has to say and not what I want to hear. Big hugs to you V888:-)

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