Where I've been
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|Fri, 05-16-2003 - 11:55pm|
And then I realized that my continuing to wait and wonder is really a way of distracting myself from my own problems and my own dissatisfaction with myself and the way my life has gone. It's so much easier to dwell on others peoples' faults, flaws and shortcoming rather than on our own. So what I'm going to try to work on now is figuring out what I want out of life, and how I can fix the things I don't like.
I started out by making a list of all the changes I had been through in the last 22 years. I did this to remind myself that I've had lots of moves and job changes and relationships end and begin and through it all I have managed to maintain my sense of who I am and what I want -- so I'm sure I'll get that back again.
But I still do miss him very much, and I will probably always wish for his return, in some little corner of my heart.