Whoppi comments on The View

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
Whoppi comments on The View
25
Wed, 02-10-2010 - 4:59am

Yesterday morning on The View, one of the hot topics was about sex addicts.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Fri, 02-12-2010 - 11:15am
I am. You can email me through my profile to let me know whereabouts in SE Michigan you live. Just be sure to sign your email with your Moniker so I know who it is. ;-)

~ Iddy~

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2009
Fri, 02-12-2010 - 12:19pm
I haven't posted in a really long time but I've been reading almost daily and this thread really hit home with me so much that I wanted to respond.
I am just like all of you who have responded...From the outside, nobody would ever suspect that on the inside I actually feel unfulfilled, inadequate, disappointed, unimportant, guilty, frustrated, bad, sad to name a few...
I'm married almost 15 yrs to the "perfect" husband, living the suburban stay-at-home mom life I was expected to be living with 2 beautiful children, a "lovely" home, many friends, outside activities, etc. I'm very involved in the community, my kids schools and numerous organizations; I've even been recognized with awards for my involvement. I'm a nice person who does nice things for others and always does the right thing-you can always count on me! One little problem that I never realized until the 1st time my A ended, is that none of this makes me happy!
Being in my A made me feel happy and alive and excited (during the brief good moments). Not being in the A left me wanting desperately to feel the good feelings again and hit me with the reality that my perfect life was not so perfect for me.
The truth is that the A exposed a whole side of me that was kept hidden for most of my life. I've always been a people pleaser, wanting & needing recognition, seeking admiration and desperate to fit in, to feel wanted, desired and loved. I've always worked hard to be accepted by doing what others expect and along the way I came to believe that this is what made me happy and fulfilled but I am not.
I've been working really hard to figure out what I truly want and need and what is going to make me feel happy and fulfilled as I move into my next 40 years :)! Between IC, MC and lots of reading, soul searching and honesty I'm hopeful that I will figure it out soon!
It definitely helps to hear the stories of others who are traveling this road too; it is nice to have your company. Thank you all so much for sharing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 6:00am

Dear abigmess,


i guess we all have the common trait of "low self esteem"...we all acknowledge that and we all know that's what got us where we are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2009
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 11:08am
Don't be so hard on yourself! What you're feeling is completely normal and expected after all that you have gone through. You need to give yourself some time to heal-you spent 15 yrs in your situation and this is not easy but you will get through the pain and the end result will be a stronger, better you.
Stay focused on your goal "to find some peace and tranquility in my life and stop letting others define who i am." I'm focusing on the same and working hard to make my own happiness. I am tired of my life being a roller coaster of ups and downs that I allowed to be controlled by outside forces and I do not want to rely on anyone else to make me feel happy and fulfilled. It sounds crazy but I really feel like I've only been a passenger for the past 41 yrs of my life and I am finally ready to be the driver! :)
I have been reading a new book that I've found helpful in keeping me on track, you may want to check it out...
The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
She also has a website... http://www.happiness-project.com/
We will get through this together! Thinking of you...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
Sun, 02-14-2010 - 3:17am
thank you abm.

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