Why?
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Why?
| Sun, 11-21-2010 - 9:16pm |
I was going to delete all the messages exAP and I sent to each other, but read through them first.
| Sun, 11-21-2010 - 9:16pm |
I was going to delete all the messages exAP and I sent to each other, but read through them first.
Cait-
awww Cait,
I hear what your saying.
Well, Cait, it's really hard to keep NC and your eyes forward when you are still looking backwards.
r.
Hi Cait,
Oh, I understand.
Cait,
You are still early in the ending process and it is all still very painful. I get that. Everyone here who has posted to you has BTDT. It really sucks.
Reading those emails has set you back. It did for me, too. Remember what a mess I was over that? Well, I'll tell you this, I have not for one minute regretted deleting those emails. In fact, I have gone back several times to make sure they are still deleted!! It was hugely empowering to delete them because what I was doing and acknowledging was that I was ready to take the next big step in this journey toward healing. I WAS LETTING GO. You simply can't heal while still holding on to the very thing that was so damaging.
I am of the opinion that you should and will delete them when you are ready to take that next big step. If you are determined to move beyond the A, you will delete and purge him from you life in every way possible. It's as big of a step as initially going NC and blocking. NC, blocking, deleting...it's all part of the process, sweetie. Do it when you are ready to move a little farther down the road, but please don't tarry.
Hugs,
~alwayst2
Hi Cait
Always remind yourself the many attempts you made to end the A, there were obvious reasons why you wanted to. Be mindful of that and never forget that.
Cait,
Think of it this way, Dear: you don't know why YOU were in this destructive and twisted A yet, do you?