Why?
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| Mon, 12-20-2004 - 10:14pm |
WHY????
Why does this happen? Right when you start to make progress, does something so utterly stupid throw you into a complete tailspin??? When do the little ironic episodes stop - or at least when do we stop SEEING them as "ironic episodes"???
Here's the stupid ironic episode I'm speaking of...
I was at work today and the mail came. In it, was a postcard from a little sports bar down the road from my theatre. It said I won an 'office party' (whoopie - there are 5 people who work in my office). Here's the stupid ironic part - I haven't been to this sports bar in 5 MONTHS!!! It was one of the 'special places' xOM and I use to go. We would meet there for lunch, drinks - whatever. It's the place we had our first 'date, first kiss, place he first said "I love you". Of all the stupid 'special places' - this one was "it". I haven't been back there since we broke up.
I'm so sick of this crap!! WHEN DOES IT STOP????
Diva
Edited 12/20/2004 11:53 pm ET ET by actressdiva

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Thanks Bella,
I must say that I am very lucky to have an H that loves me as much as he does - he may show it differently than xOM did, but I know he truly loves me. I hate that I have 'desecrated' our M by what I did w/xOM. I think that is why I am having such a hard time when I have "warm & fuzzy" thought about xOM - I feel like I should hate him...but I don't. I still miss him, and I feel like that is completely unfair to H (even though he is unaware of the A). It's hard to deal w/my real emotions when I keep thinking they are wrong!
Diva
Diva,
Right there with ya, sister. I have been wrestling with that same issue. No easy answers, are there? I'm hoping it's true that time is the great healer. I'll be doing better when I don't have to see him almost every day.
Newsgal
Jackson,
You are correct - H bought me the new car beginning of Nov. (a nice expensive luxury one to boot)! Ya know...I hadn't thought about it, but no, driving it doesn't make me feel guilty. In fact, the last time xOM and I got together was right after I got the car. He met me at my friend's house and parked right next to me. I SHOULD have felt guilty then!
Thanks for the enlightenment. I just told my T on Wednesday how grateful I was to have H in my life - he will be my rock this weekend. I don't think I could have gone to visit my family after being estranged from them for so long without him. He's the kind of guy I am proud to take home...don't know that I could have said that about xOM!!
Bring on the New Year!!
Diva
Oh Man I hate those moments, of course i got one the other day, in form of a phone call. I havnt talked to this guy in 3 years! He used to be a truck driver for MM. And my H sells firewood on the side for fun money and this guy calls me up and wants some. But the ironic part is this: He says he just got some wood end pieces from MM business, and my name had come up in conversation and that I owned my own little business now and no longer worked at the plant. But this guy knew this cause I wasnt at the company picnic last year, (It was like he was almost fishing for info) but any how he told me all about what MM was up to with his business and so forth. I hung up the phone and had a moment of hurt heart pangs. The phone call was so out of the blue it was weird.
On the go Chick
How did you find the strength to end it when you work with him everyday? I also work with my MM, and he sits very very close to me. Short of finding a new job, how do you maintain such close contact with him and stay so strong?
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I'll be emailing you with suggestions. What worked for me may not work for you, but as I mentioned in an earlier post, it's all in the mindset.
Id
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