why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2009
why?
85
Sun, 12-20-2009 - 8:05pm

do we offer so much....and accept so little?


God, I'm in pain.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
In reply to: kmg6
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 12:40pm

again, I am sorry you hurt, u hurt just like we hurt n again, i love reading what you wrote, today is another good day so far.

what i truly love and appreciate about your postsis that you have given me so much insight and understanding into their mindset and how they work...and it does make a difference. N i do not need to hear it from him...but you describe me very well. and you describe him even better.

<>

my mm told me this outright, he admitted it to me. He said it was horribly selfish but told me that he knew he had to get me to fall for him first and then one day he would tell me. he was so good at this, he had been doing this for a while. he has had many a many...before me, during me, and already after me....he def was a pro. I did not see it coming. he could manage all of us so easily and effortlessly. N i too believed in him.....would have for a long, long, long time.

Ur posts are so on point I had a brief thought of sending them to him anonymously....but he would know its me and it would be breaking NC....but he is a mess and am i relieved to be away from him. and i am thankful for your insight.

<>

he is this person...he said heneeds Khaos, he is used to it and thrives in, things just can not be normal. he almost has to live on the edge. things have to be face paced and on the edge. and its always on to the next. and he keeps W is his security blanket that he can always fall back on. she will always be there...she knows of me and many others and still stays....yet he is unhappy with her...and unfulfilled by her, but she is always there waiting. he wanted me to do the same and that was just crazy.....i had to get out!!! i was started to accept late nights and crumbs....

thanks for the posts and keep em coming. i had the male version of your mw.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
In reply to: kmg6
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 2:32pm

A one, a two, a one two three four....



When you just give love, and never get love,
you'd better let love depart.

I know it's so, and yet I know,
I can't get you out of my heart.

You made me leave my happy home.
You took my love, and now you've gone,
since I fell for you ...

Love brings such misery and pain.
I guess I'll never be the same,
since I fell for you ...

Well it's too bad, and it's too sad,
but I'm in love with you ...

You love me, then you snub me.
But what can I do, I'm still in love with you.

Well, I guess I'll never see the light.
I get the blues most every night,
since I fell for you ...

Since I fell for you.



The Lenny Welch version is the best, so if you want to cry alot go to you tube or itunes and play it, have a good cry and get on with life! There are
also versions by Nina Simone, Al Jarreau, Barbara Streisand amongst others.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBDfju1F76M


Hey what are friends for?





iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
In reply to: kmg6
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 3:30pm

'It's a no-win situation; the more you chase the more they run.When you run, they don't chase, they wait, patiently, for you to turn around and come back slowly with your tail between your legs. They live in a constant muddy middle ground, and crisis is an everyday occurrence.'


Thank you Pause....I really, really needed to read this today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
In reply to: kmg6
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 5:37pm

Oh boy,


I knew someone would ask me this...eventually.


How do you get him to chase you? Well the simple answer is this; you can't, because you can't make any human being do anything. Soooo, read this over and over again, print it, and stick it to your forehead:


People do what they want to do, and they don't do

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
In reply to: kmg6
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 6:13pm

That post was great.....thanks for sharing so much of yourself with all of us.


You are really getting some ego stroking here at EAS, who the heck needs to have an affair? I hope all of this posting is helping you as well. Obviously, you are hurting.


No more chasing for me...I did that over and over again only to end up in the same place...no where. I made my xMM life livable. I was his fun. Now that the fog is truly lifting it makes me sick to think that I tried my hardest to get someone elses husband to love me

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
In reply to: kmg6
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 6:47pm

Sadly,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
In reply to: kmg6
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 8:02pm
I'm running out to dinner but I just wanted you to know I love to paint :) so let me know when the party is....I'm coming.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
In reply to: kmg6
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 8:11pm

Pof,

my, my, my. U get me everytime. That little scenario u described. I have fantasized about it at least 10 times since starting nc. I have played that scene perfectly. I look stunning. My date he is as handsome as one gets. We look great together, we r in some fancy Restauraunt, we see him, n he is with all his friends I met that are also married, n have ow, they r part of a club u see... these r the friends that I spent hours around not knowing he was married, the ones who knew n smiled and made convo with me...So back to the scene. I see him, smile as I am forced my way past him because he is on the way to my table. I stop n introduce...make small chit chat, n then move on after I wish him a nice evening. I then have a lovely dinner with my new date.

I want him to be dumbfounded...don't necessarily chase me, just really want him to see me with another n assume I am over it, have moved on n over him....

I still want this, I hope I don't soon. My hope is that it does not matter n soon my fantasy will be non existant.

Today was ok, a few lows, but POF, u keep me going. But overall, I thought of him a bit less, n I told myself I would get over all this....

N maybe I will write like u n make others feel better soo

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
In reply to: kmg6
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 9:04pm

PFT,


I had to chuckle throughout your reply because I knew that when I asked that question, I was gonna hear an earful!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
In reply to: kmg6
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 9:13pm

Sienna,


I've ran that type of thing in my mind as well.

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